Ze women zey simply luv me,
Zey can’t get enough of my stuff,
Though I’m fat and I’m old and I’m ugly,
And ze sex that I like, it is ruff.

Ze ones zat I most like to favor,
Ze ones for me most preferential,
Are ze poor ones I peg as defenseless,
Who can’t prove our sex ain’t consensual.

And if zez ingrates still complain,
Understand not ze honor bestowed,
I got money and lawyers and clout,
So I walk..
It’s my right…
I am owed.