Muslim Cleric Charges Pepsi Is A “Zionist Plot”

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A Muslim cleric has charged that Pepsi is actually a “Zionist plot.”

Seriously. Really. No joking. Here are the details proving that the light fizz isn’t just atop Pepsi but is also in the craniums of people who love to hate:

Extremist Moslems have not dropped their allegations that Pepsi Cola is essentially the code name for a Zionist plot.

MEMRI has released an English transcript of an address given by a Muslim religious leader in Egypt this past February, in which he explains that PEPSI is actually an acronym for “Pay Every Penny to Save Israel.”

In addition, a member of the Hamas terrorist organization’s parliament in Gaza made similar accusations against Pepsi last year. Speaking with official Hamas TV station Al-Aqsa TV on April 23, 2008, Hamas MP Salem Salamah said, “There are companies established by the colonialists and occupiers – large companies with branches all over the world, like Pepsi, Pepsi Cola. This is a well-known company. Pepsi is an acronym. P-E-P-S-I – Pay Every Pence to Save Israel. Pay every pence – pence is one-hundredth of a dollar – to save Israel. Pay every pence to save Israel…”

…More recently, this past February, Egyptian cleric Hazem Abu Ismail made a similar accusation. Speaking on Al Nas TV – a Muslim religious channel in Egypt that provides Islamic programming for Muslim Muftis – Abu Ismail all but called for a Muslim boycott of Pepsi because it stands for ‘Pay Every Penny Saving Israel.’ Abu Ismail said a penny is “one-thousandth of a dollar.”

True? No.

As a bris-marked member of the religion in question here, I can attest that Pepsi is not-guilty as charged. Now, as I noted in THIS POST because of my religion I’m extremely busy running the world’s banks, running Hollywood, running the state Department, preventing Jeremiah Wright from talking to Barack Obama, writing comedy for every comedian, determining which blogs other blogs link to or don’t because I am so powerful that I have a blacklist (I have to hurry up with this post because I have to send an email with orders to Glenn Reynolds and John Amato about who to link to today) and keeping Chinese restaurants everywhere in business.

But Pepsi’s letters do NOT stand for it being a Zionist plot — just as “KFC” does NOT rpt NOT stand for Klansmen For Chaos.

Pepsi a Zionist plot? Decidedly no.

David Ben Gurion’s grave…now that’s a Zionist plot.

5 Comments

  1. Interesting!

    When I lived and worked in Saudi Arabia in the 80s, Coca Cola was “banned” because of alleged Zionist connections.

    Now Pepsi Cola?

  2. Amazing what backward societies dream up.

  3. I thought pepsi didn't even sell to israel till the 90's. they felt if they sold to israel the arabs wouldn't buy. That's why Zionists drank Coke (because they did sell to Israel) and Haredim drank Pepsi (because Coke had its secret formula that made it hard to determine that it was Kosher)

  4. Joe – Given your admissions to running the world's banks, running Hollywood, running the State Department, preventing Jeremiah Wright from talking to the President, writing comedy, determining what links to what on the internet, and updating blacklists, can we really take seriously your denial about Pepsi being a Zionist plot? Might you not simply be engaging in a fructose infused denial to cover up the real fizz in this story? : )

  5. omg
    i am muslim and pepsi is never ever goin in my mouth

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