Suggestion To Obama: No Mother-In-Law Jokes While Your Mother-In-Law Lives In White House

NEWS FLASH! President Elect Barack Obama’s 71-year-old mother-in-law Marian Robinson will be moving with him to the White House.

By all accounts, he enjoys a warm friendship with his mother-in-law. They reportedly genuinely like each other. And during the campaign she played a key role, traveling with the Obamas and taking care of their two children.

Once upon a time, mother-in-law jokes were the stock of every stand-up comedian’s act. Now they’re not considered PC by some, while some other comedians consider them ancient, unfunny, formulaic hack comedy.

Even so, Obama could try livening up his speeches by trying a few out.

So here’s a list of switched jokes, revised old jokes, some new ones (I do write some jokes in my non-blogging incarnation) and plain, old stock jokes from the Internet that Obama can use to liven up a speech, destroy his good relationship with his mother-in-law and possibly become the first President divorced while in office.

Remember these are STOCK JOKES (and could be switched to other topics as well) not written for a person but are presented here for a stereotypical mother in law.

Just picture Obama coming to the West Wing podium and using a few of these to lighten up his talk, spark a blogosphere controversy and destroy his family as he knows it:

(Obama smiles, then says):

Hey, it’s great to be here at the White House, especially after the holidays. Man, were they weird.

That’ll be the last time time I’ll have Thanksgiving at Karl Rove’s. He only served right wings.

But that was better than Christmas dinner at Hillary’s. Only scrawny thighs.

These are the jokes, folks. I mean, all of the jokes aren’t serving in Congress.

But this I gotta tell, ya, my friends. OOPS! Who wrote THAT “my friends” line? That’s what I get for listening to McCain and giving a job to Joe the Plumber…

Actually, it’s great to be here. It’s great to be anywhere where my mother-in-law isn’t.

My mother-in-laws and I were happy for 20 years,
Then we met each other.

During the campaign, a local peeping Tom knocked on my mother-in-laws’ door, and asked her to shut her blinds.

She wouldn’t, so he called the police and he turned himself in.

I know if you saw my mother-in-law you’d recognize her immediately. Have you ever seen America’s Most Wanted?

They once put her face on a milk carton but it curdled the milk.

I wouldn’t say she’s old, but her social security number is “3.”

Q: What are the two worst things about your Mother-in-Law?
A: Her faces.

The other day my mother in law walked into the Lincoln bedroom. The mice took one look at her and jumped on a chair.

What is the ideal weight for a mother in law? About 2.3 lbs, including the urn.

Hey folks….laugh it up! These are the jokes. Not all of the jokes are car company CEOs in Detroit..

But, to be fair and completely, from the start my mother-in-law always treated me like family.

On our first date, the woman who is now my wife introduced me to my mother in law to be. She took one look and me and said: “Who is this mother….?”

I bought my mother-in-law a chair for Christmas but she wouldn’t plug it in.

Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world — because neither of them had a mother-in-law.

Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to ruin a marriage?
A: Just one … mine…

Yesterday Air Force One drove over the Grand Canyon. What a great place to drop your mother-in-law…