The defense readiness condition (DEFCON) system, developed by the U.S. Department of Defense prescribes five graduated levels of alert for our military.
The levels of alerts or defense readiness conditions increase from DEFCON 5 (in exercise form called “FADE OUT”), the lowest, “normal’” state of readiness, to DEFCON 1, (in exercise form called “COCKED PISTOL”) when the U.S. President and the U.S. Secretary of Defense and other military leaders determine that a nuclear attack is “imminent” and our military is mobilized into a maximum state of readiness.
Well, the entire DEFCON system is about to see a significant change if Donald Trump is elected president.
You see, the Trump campaign has discovered another much more serious, insidious potential threat to our security and, more important, to the American way of life.
The danger was first pointed out by one of Mr. Trump’s own Latino supporters intimately familiar with the nature of the threat.
Marco Gutierrez of Latinos for Trump warned that if nothing is done, the U.S. would soon be invaded by an unstoppable army of Taco Trucks pouring in from south of the border and taking up positions “on every corner” of our unwary country, with catastrophic consequences.
The Washington Post conducted a detailed analysis of the threat and concluded that such an invading force could consist of up to 3.2 million taco trucks. “How ubiquitous is that?” the Post asks and replies, “Well, it’s one on every corner.”
Trump’s beautiful, 2,000-mile long, 50-foot high wall equipped with special taco sniffers may eventually stem the tide of invading taco trucks. However, it will take some time to build it — especially if Mexico has to pay for it — and may be the classic example of too little too late.
Trump insists that he knows how to handle the Taco Truck threat better than the generals and that, on day one of his presidency, he will place the military on a brand-new, unprecedented level of readiness: DEFCON ZERO, code word “TACO TRUCK.”
Not only will Trump stop the taco truck invasion dead in its truck tracks, but his new “Taco Truck Deportation Task Force” will round up every truck of the Fifth Trojan Taco Truck Column already clandestinely in our country and use them as training and preparation for his mass deportation of 11 million — or “whatever many” — undocumented immigrants.
Americans can thus rest easy as a Trump presidency will keep us all safe from a taco truck on every corner, dominating and subverting our culture and imposing a foreign albeit delicious menu on vulnerable Americans.
Until Donald Trump takes the oath of office and DEFCON ZERO is implemented, Americans must keep a close and wary eye on those Fifth Column Trojan taco trucks already here and resist el canto de la Sirena Taco no matter how strong the hunger pangs, no matter how severe the taco withdrawal symptoms.
Our American way of life depends on it, “believe me.”
Lead image: Screen shot from aol.com
Edited to correct a reference (to the Washington Post)
