I think I now know what purgatory is.
When I die if I go to purgatory it will consist of being stuck in a room with a phone trying to get a human being when I call up Time Warner Cable. It would mean getting recordings and being told to punch keys that will not let you get a human being.
For eternity.
Forever.
And that is close to what my experience has been since I moved from North Park San Diego to Rancho Penasquitos and had to leave Cox Cable since it was not in my new home’s area. At times, it has been like a scene from a classic comedy movie. But there’s nothing funny about it and, sadly, perhaps it’ll be the trend with corporations as we move into the 21st century.
I set up the accounts easily enough (companies make it easy to set up accounts) but when I tried to reach a human being on Time Warner after that I would get numbers that seemed to be designed to keep me from getting a person and to press another button. Each button gave me another recording or sent me back to the main menu. Once in a while I’d get through but most times I could not.
When I had Cox Cable for 26 years it was simple: call them and get someone. Log in on the website and you get it. If you have a problem on the website, call them. Perhaps that’s why Cox calls itself “Your friend in the digital age” because it was an easy, pleasant experience.
More often than not, trying to get through to Time Warner is like having six root canals. At once. By a dentist with bad breath. Who sings Michael Bolton songs. Offkey.
Once I got through I talked to very helpful, pleasant, caring employees.
Maybe what’s going on is that they’re so nice their company doesn’t want to burden them with calls, so they protect them from having to talk to customers.
Over the past few months at a conservative estimate I have spent from 6 to 8 hours trying to get through to report problems with getting on the Time Warner website with my code. Codes techs helped me set up sometimes didn’t work or they explained there are two places to put the codes. But whether the code problem was with the codes, the way it was set up or, perhaps, with me doing it wrong the real problem with the way Time Warner is set up isn’t the codes (they can be changed), or its website (it’s well designed and complete) or the cable, phone or Internet (they’re reliable and excellent) and most assuredly not the service technicians who are efficient, on time and truly nice people.
The problem is that this seems to be the quintessential case of a company that seemingly tries to limit human contact with its customers. Is this due to cost saving? Considered more efficient in screening the needs of a big customer base? No matter what the reason the reality is this: Time Warner is a monopoly in many areas so its customers have no choice.
I have no choice (for now) but to stick with it. I may decide to set up recurring payments, but prefer to look at my balance each month. And since I’m on a national tour where I will only spend about 6 weeks between now and the end of May at home I need to get on the web and see my account status so I can pay the balances due. I could also call. But I have trouble getting on the web and if I call I can’t get a human being but only can get recordings.
In all of my years, living in Spain, India (even with the notorious bureaucratic New Delhi telephone company), Bangladesh, and in states such as Connecticut, Kansas and California, I have never ever dealt with a company that is so difficult to get through to as Time Warner. They WILL call me: if a bill is overdue. But when I need to call THEM? I have to jump through hoops. Recorded hoops.
How did I get them this time?
I had spent what seemed like 90 minutes unable to get a human being calling the numbers on my bill and a slew of numbers online, including the customer service number on Time Warner’s website. I got recordings. It didn’t matter if I hit “0” or screamed “OPERATOR!” or “CUSTOMER CARE!” or “CUSTOMER SERVICE!” it would send me back to a recording. I tried to get on the website’s customer service chat, but that function seemingly didn’t work. I wasted another 5 minutes. I finally decided to share my experience in several Tweets. And one person Tweeted back that I should go to a website that told people how to get a human being on Time Warner.
Just think about it. I had to get the information FROM SOMEONE ON TWITTER. About how to get a human being in a corporation that provided me services for which I was not only paying but paying for bundled services (business phone, Internet and cable), and trying to find out how much I owed so I could pay them today since I’m now traveling on the other side of the country.
I couldn’t get through to a human being using the the customer service number on my bill. Nor the ones on the website.
Those numbers only got me to recordings. Which would not talk to me and answer my questions.
So, yes, I am now able to get on the website (for now, until the codes don’t work again which is what has happened). I now know the balance and will pay it in full. I might even decide to set up recurring payments even though I have problems doing that with a company that seems not to want to talk to me unless it is reminding me to send money to them.
San Diego Gas & Electric is also a monopoly but they make it easy to talk to a human.. I set up recurring payments with them.
P.S.: OH: I just got a call from Time Warner.
It was a recorded reminder.
Asking me to pay a bill.
The same bill that took me now a total of roughly 2 to 2 1/2 hours to get info on about my total.
But blog posts like this or websites that shame a company by offering readers a way to actually reach a human being won’t mean much. Their customers have little choice. They have a choice, too — to respond like Cox Cable and San Diego Gas & Electric. But why should they? Who can force them to? And their business is growing nationally by leaps and bounds.
FOOTNOTE: The nice techs who I finally managed to get through to gave me an 800 number to call in the future so I can talk to human being.
I suggest they give it to their bosses at Time Warner — so the number can be put on Time Warner bills and on the company website.
But now I have to thank Time Warner Cable for giving a reason to want to live every, single day I possibly can:
So I won’t wind up in purgatory.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.