Does Political Correctness Really Contradict Pixie Dust?

Recently a disgruntled Disney fan named Jonathan VanBoskerc has gone off on a semi-rant in the Orlando Sentinel about how the politically correct changes at Disney theme parks are ruining his Disney experience and stripping Disney of it’s magic.

Some of the upcoming changes include modifications to the cast member uniform (and it’s not bigger mouse ears.) In addition to numerous politically correct changes to Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain is about to be essentially transformed into another attraction.

The upgrade that Pirates of the Caribbean underwent was understandable. People getting raped on a ride does not belong in the Magic Kingdom. Fair enough. The famous auction scene aside, the original Pirates of the Caribbean essentially ended with the pirates burning down the town and obtaining treasure.

Prior to a 2006 make-over, in Walt Disney World, the final scene of the original Pirates of the Caribbean featured pirates emerging victorious with stolen treasure, and had several people (presumably guards or townspeople) tied up and gagged in a treasure room. Prior to 2018, there was a scene where pirates were auctioning off woman. Pretty dark for a company whose mascot is a singing dancing animated mouse, and for a theme park whose icon is a castle from a fairy tale. Walt Disney World is advertised as a place “where dreams come true.” Unless your dream was to witness a successful violent crime, and to have to explain what sex slavery is to your kids during a family vacation, these modifications make a lot of sense.

A more recent change is the impending makeover that Splash Mountain will receive. The Song of the South theme will be removed. According to Wikipedia, Song of the South takes place after the Civil War, and Uncle Remus is a free character when he sings Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah. Furthermore, all the characters in Splash Mountain are animals, not people. But as Princess and The Frog (the movie that will apparently be featured in the new version) is more recent, maybe Splash Mountain could stand a little tune-up. Even VanBoskerc concedes that Disney owns Splash Mountain and therefore is free to do what it wishes with it.

Another new change allows cast members to don gender-neutral uniforms, which is understandable. As stated earlier, Disney has always adapted to changes in society. Long before the term “cancel culture” debuted, Disney has always adapted to changes in society.

In Disneyland, the burning cabin in Frontierland was once described to be the work of Native Americans. The ride was then modified to be sensitive to Native Americans.

In the original version of Snow White’s Adventures in the Magic Kingdom, it ended with the witch dropping a giant jewel on the riders. The ride was modified to have a happy ending in the 1990’s.

VanBoskerc openly identifies himself as a “conservative Republican.” I wonder what he would say about the now closed Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in the Magic Kingdom, which included a scene that took place in hell. This ride was replaced by The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh. Needless to say, in The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, your honey pot vehicle does not take you on a detour to hell.

However, the gender neutral uniforms are not the only new change being implemented. This new policy will allow cast members to display tattoos, jewelry and longer hair. This is a whole different story, or should I say a “Whole New World.”

The sole purpose of Disney is to allow you to escape from the very world where tattoos, long hair etc belong. These are elements of reality that have no place in the Magic Kingdom. VanBoskerc openly wishes the cast members success in their private lives. He also (rightfully so) states that he is not spending thousands of vacation dollars to watch other people express themselves. The product we are buying is Disney, not the Disney worker’s personal lives.

Furthermore, the standards for what is appropriate keep becoming harder and harder to accompany everyone’s standards. Or should I say wishes? The new Snow White ride in Disneyland already has become a target for controversy, as the Prince kisses Snow White without her consent.

While the sex slavery in Pirates of the Caribbean was indeed inappropriate, this is literally another story. Wouldn’t Snow White still be under the spell? Wasn’t Sleeping Beauty also kissed without her consent?

While gender neutral uniforms may be simply keeping up with the times, non-Disney tattoos and jewelry may, in fact, negate the atmosphere. Tattoos and long hair belong in Reality Land, not Fantasyland.

What’s next, abolishing all cast member uniforms? The tattoos are images that are non-Disney and therefore have no place in Disney. Unless the jewelry is Minnie Mouse earrings (which can be worn by male or female cast members), unless the long hair is resolved for cast members who work at Pirates Of The Caribbean, and unless the tattoos are of Olaf, they have no place in Disney theme parks.