CODA: We are living in an era when satire seems to be imitating life so much, that it is becoming increasingly difficult to tell what’s what. Caveat emptor.
The Nordic nation of Finland lies partly within the Arctic Circle, has much lower year-round temperatures, receives more rain- and snow fall than the state of California and does not have the powerful, dry, hot Santa Ana winds frequently experienced by parts of the Golden State.
However, with forests covering over 70 percent of Finland’s country side, or approximately 57 million acres, Finland does experience its share of forest fires despite its effective forest management and fire prevention systems.
Just this year, around 2,500 acres of forest have burned down.
It is thus not surprising that the Finnish people are always on the lookout for better ways to protect their forests.
Hallelujah! Along comes forest management genius Donald J. Trump.
While observing the tragic and catastrophic results of the recent California wild fires, Trump made the brilliant observation that such wildfires are not a problem in Finland because they “spend a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things” and, consequently, “they don’t have any problem.”
Trump is so convinced that such a revolutionary idea will change America for the better that it is rumored that new MAGA hats will instead proudly proclaim “MARA,” or “Make America Rake Again.”
Trump suggested that the learned of this innovative technique from Finnish President Sauli Niinisto.
Although the Finnish President is “raking” his memory struggling to recall that he have gave Trump such sage advice, the Finnish people are taking Trump’s recommendations seriously and, according to reputable Facebook and other social media and satirical sources, are forming squadrons, battalions of Finnish people with one important mission: to rake (or vacuum) the Finnish forest floors until every leave has been removed, thus rendering the Finnish forests fire-proof.
The internet has been buzzing with feedback on Trump’s brilliant idea. Here is some:
Here in Finland we rake the forests even in winter, just in case, says Ilmari Kamila@IlmariKamila
Anttiholma notes that “every Finnish home has got a print of this cautionary painting called ‘Raking And Cleaning Fail’”.
The Daily News:”[Trump] suggested California should rake and clean its forests to prevent wildfires.”
In a video, Stephen Sutton urges “Make America Rake Again”:
Make America Rake Again. #MARA @realDonaldTrump #Finland pic.twitter.com/rpabRtT5yo
— Stephen Sutton (@Stippidoo) November 18, 2018
And the Fins, ever faithful allies, step up to the plate. #RakeAmericaGreatAgain #RakeTheForest #Trump
Kristiina Vahvaselkä has just returned from “a busy #MondayMorning, just finished #raking leaves here.”
Trump urging a boy to hurry up, as there is a lot of raking to be done in California.
Lead image: @pyryluminen – Here is a brave Fin trooper “raking” the forest with a vacuum cleaner.
