THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:
Bush Postpones Thinking about Iraq Until 2009
Says Thinking Would Send ‘Wrong Message’ to EnemySaying that it was too early to assess whether the surge of additional troops into Baghdad was improving the security situation in the capital city, President George W. Bush said today he would postpone thinking about Iraq until 2009.
While congressional Democrats have urged the president to start thinking about Iraq now, the president said that setting a timetable for thinking about the war would send the “wrong message†to the insurgents.
“Thinking about the war in Iraq is exactly what the insurgents want us to do,†Mr. Bush told reporters. “By saying that we are giving the war in Iraq a thoughtful assessment, we would be playing directly into the evildoers’ hands.â€
The president also lashed out at the Democrats in congress for spending “untold hours†thinking about the war and argued that “excessive thinking†about Iraq would undermine the position of the U.S. troops there.
“The best thing we can do to support the troops is to not think about them,†the president said.
But just hours after Mr. Bush made his announcement, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Cal) urged the president to set a firm deadline for thinking about the war, arguing that the 2009 date was “too late.â€
“For one thing, by 2009 he’ll be out of office,†Rep. Pelosi said.
Later in the day, however, the president rebuffed the Speaker’s request, telling reporters, “There she goes – thinking again.â€
There’s more so read the whole thing.
You can get and read Andy Borowitz’s other investigative reports here.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.