Leave it to the always controversial frontrunner Donald Trump to announce his most audacious plan on April Fool’s day. Today, without seeming to recognize the obvious irony, Donald Trump announced that he is forming his own news empire to compete directly with what he referred to as “that current joke known as the mainstream media.” This morning, he sent out the following press release outlining his plan.
TRUMP PRESS RELEASE: APRIL 1, 2016
While running for president of this great nation, I’ve become increasingly aware of the current joke known as the mainstream media. These clowns have no idea what they are doing. They are more concerned with palling around with their friends in Washington than reporting the news that matters to real Americans. Just look at how Fox is more concerned with defending Megyn Kelly’s terrible show than putting on a good debate. After watching Anderson Cooper waste the American public’s time with his useless questions at our last fake town hall travesty, it has become clear to me that the American people need a better source for the news that matters to real Americans. America needs great news that will make America great again. The mainstream media is a joke and I am the only one who can fix it. So today, I am announcing that I am starting my own news agency that will compete head to head with the mainstream media until the rest of these terrible media outlets are defeated. Today we have already taken the following steps to launch Trump World News.
-I’ve purchased Breibart and will quickly rename and rebrand all Breibart content.
-We’ve purchased the now defunct Al Jazeera America equipment for a steal and will be broadcasting within the next couple months once we negotiate with cable providers.
-I’m currently putting together a staff of the best people.
-I will also be opening up a journalism school in my on-line school to produce a new breed of good journalists.
-Many huge steps are being taken that will change the face of news and shut down idiots like Jeff Bezos and that Mickey Mouse newspaper he doesn’t know how to run.
Some might think it is unwise to announce the formation of Trump World News on April Fool’s Day, but I think this is the perfect day. My followers are smart enough to know the difference between the truth of my campaign and the foolishness of the mainstream media. They are able to tell the difference between foolish fiction and genuine substance. So while the world is making up silly, fake stories about me today, I am announcing the start of a news organization that will write and produce real stories that will change the world and make America great again!
(Currently, no one in the mainstream media has yet to respond to this story)
Douglas Bursch is the author of Posting Peace: Why Social Media Divides Us and What We Can Do About It. He also hosts The Fairly Spiritual Show podcast.