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Posted by on Jan 27, 2007 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

This Just In!!!

THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:

Bin Laden’s State of the Jihad Address Short on Specifics

Critics Blast Laundry List of Vague Threats

Al-Qaeda terror mastermind Osama bin Laden delivered his annual State of the Jihad address last night and immediately faced criticism that the speech was short on specifics and little more than a laundry list of vague threats.

Speaking from his cave in an undisclosed location in the mountainous region between Pakistan and Afghanistan, the world’s most wanted man began his address with an upbeat assessment of the global jihad against the infidels.

“Friends, terrorists, extremists, and madmen,� Mr. bin Laden began. “The state of the jihad is strong.�

The al-Qaeda leader’s fifty-minute address was interrupted by applause at least thirty-five times, usually when Mr. bin Laden punctuated his remarks by saying “Death to America.�

Mr. bin Laden sounded themes that were familiar to audiences of previous State of the Jihad addresses, such as his warning that “Al-Qaeda must become less dependent on foreign sources of chaos.�

As is his tradition, he also used the address to acknowledge several “heroes of the Jihad,� including one terrorist, Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, who risked his life by pulling another terrorist out of the path of a charging donkey.

But the al-Qaeda kingpin was in for some blistering criticism in the official response to the State of the Jihad address, which this year was delivered by opposition lunatic Hassan el-Medfaii.

“What we heard tonight was little more than ‘stay the course,’� said Mr. el-Medfaii. “As a madman, I had to ask, ‘where’s the beef?’�

There’s more so read the whole thing. And check out Borowitz’s latest so-silly-it-must-be-real book: