The classic musical “Damn Yankees” featured the song “Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets.” Today it would be “Whatever Putin Wants, Putin Gets,” and the fellow delivering the goods is Donald Trump.
In recent weeks, Trump has taken a series of actions that benefit Russia and Vladimir Putin at Ukraine’s expense. He may insist he’s trying to end the war. But his version of peace increasingly seems to involve giving Putin what he wants and telling Ukraine to live with it.
Trump abruptly eased sanctions on Russian diesel, opening the door to fuel sales that could put money into Moscow’s coffers. This came despite years of American efforts to economically isolate Russia for invading Ukraine.
Apparently Ukraine is supposed to defend itself against Russian aggression without doing anything that might inconvenience Russia.
Then there’s the intelligence controversy.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy said his country failed to receive customary advance warnings about incoming Russian ballistic missiles. Trump insists American intelligence sharing continues, and Secretary of State Marco Rubio denies there was an interruption.
But the warnings were missing. Russian missiles weren’t.
Meanwhile, Ukraine’s military suddenly experienced restrictions on SpaceX’s Starlink and Starshield satellite communications systems, disrupting drone operations used to defend Ukrainian cities and attack Russian forces.
Trump denies his administration ordered the restrictions, and the disruptions were eventually eased. But the timing raised serious issues, including among bipartisan members of the U.S. Senate.
And when Zelenskyy objected to Trump’s Russian diesel deal, Trump suggested Ukraine would be better off with another president.
Imagine that: A country invaded by Russia is being told by the American president that perhaps its own president should go.
Somewhere in Moscow, champagne corks must be popping.
Which brings us to ventriloquism.
I have special credentials to discuss this subject. I’ve been a professional ventriloquist for 36 years.
I own a $2,000 state-of-the-art wooden ventriloquist dummy. He’s an impressive piece of craftsmanship, with movable eyebrows, eyes that wink and a tongue that sticks out.
He doesn’t do anything unless I make him do it.
When he talks, I’m doing the talking. When he raises his eyebrows, I’m controlling them. When he sticks out his tongue, I’m pulling the appropriate lever.
The dummy may get the laughs, but I’m controlling the show.
Watching Trump’s recent dealings with Putin, I can’t help seeing a familiar act. Putin wants Zelensky weakened. Trump publicly suggests replacing him.
The difference is my dummy is made of wood and nobody mistakes him for the president of the United States.
Of course, Trump isn’t literally controlled by Putin. His administration argues its actions are intended to lower energy prices and negotiate peace.
But intentions don’t erase consequences. And the consequences of these decisions increasingly favor the country that launched the invasion.
This isn’t merely a political comedy routine. Ukranians are dying. Cities are being bombed. American credibility with its allies is at stake.
A ventriloquist act is supposed to entertain an audience by creating the illusion the dummy speaks for himself.
The frightening question now is whether the American president is speaking for our interests or echoing the wishes of Vladimir Putin.
I’ve spent 36 years making a dummy look like he’s talking. Vladimir Putin may have figured out how to do it without moving his lips.
Copyright 2026 Joe Gandelman, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
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Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, writes a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.