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Posted by on Sep 28, 2013 in Guest Contributor, Politics | 4 comments

Viagra for Boehner


VILE cover

Shutdown looms larger after GOP move on Obamacare
Politico

House Republicans will vote to pass a one-year delay of Obamacare in exchange for funding the government, a plan that drastically increases the chances of a government shutdown this Tuesday. — The decision was announced by the GOP leadership …

Pity poor John Boehner, who has been reduced from Speaker of the House to Squeaker of the House, forced to recite childish (and, were this any other civil arena, criminal) extortion demands by the Tea Party wing, in cahoots with their masters and Ted Cruz. This is certainly Demagoguing outside the Box™.

And John Boehner is left to mindlessly wave the “Hastert Rule,” t0 wit:

Let Us Prey - Thomas Nast (detail)

Dennis Hastert in a different incarnation

A bill may be only brought to the floor if a majority of the majority party wishes it.

Which I’d like to start with, Mr. Boehner.

Dump the Hastert Rule.

Only treasonous vermin would put loyalty to party above loyalty to country in the U.S. House. This has direct bearing on what I’m about to say.

You see, Mr. Boehner, you are about to become one of history’s jokes. (At best.) Your legacy is about to become:

John Boehner led the Republican-majority to oppose everything that the first Black President attempted, the most shamefully racist act in the history of the House of Representatives, a disgrace to the nation and a disgrace to Ohio.

lampreys

Leader of the GOPs?

Pretend that’s not true. You see, Mr. Boehner, it doesn’t matter whether you are or you aren’t. History will see it that way, and generations of Boehners to come (assuming they can get it up) will have to either defend (unlikely) or, more likely, run away from your legacy. Pretend that they don’t know who you were.

For a man who aspired to the highest office in the “people’s house” of Congress, that’s a pretty sad testament to a failed life, wouldn’t you think?

No: there aren’t going to be any asterisks in the history books, explaining how over half of your caucus are from 2010 and 2012 elections, and aren’t actually Republicans at all*, but are, in fact, RINOs, doing the bidding of the old “Term Limits” gang. They’ll just blame YOU.

incrshrinking-man

The Incredible Shrinking Speakership

Is that what you want? Think about it.

You will be remembered as a fanatic who literally attempted to destroy the country (thrown into desperate recession by Mr. Hastert’s co-governance with the Usurper and his Merry Band of Torturers). And, worse, it will be SEEN as for racial reasons.

I know you’re not a racist, Mr. B0ehner. After a lifetime of being tormented for your orange skin, I cannot imagine that you don’t understand prejudice based on skin color. But history won’t see it that way. It’ll see you and Mitch McConnell in Klan hoods.

Period.

kkk2

Now, I know and you know that the “Tea Party” is actually a hostile takeover attempt by the Kochian stealth cells. It doesn’t matter what anyone else believes.

But it is obvious that not only is your caucus ungovernable, but that if you continue to attempt to appease them, you will earn yourself a place in history next to Jefferson Davis and Benedict Arnold. Again, with no asterisk beside it.

Jefferson Davis stole our american hat

Not remembered for his service
in the Mexican War, as Secretary
of War or U.S. Senator. Nope.

Seems a damned shame to throw away your ENTIRE LIFE AND LEGACY for an ideology you DON’T AGREE WITH.

johnboehner

And, since I know you’re not that noble, let me suggest a means of salvaging your legacy and perhaps even your Speakership.

Deep-six the Hastert Rule, and start ruling with the Democratic minority and your own Moderate-t0-Sane Republican minority. Let the Tea Party accept the blame, and even dump that Klan robe on THEM. They won’t get an asterisk about your actions PRIOR to 2010, either.

dennis-hastert

Has-been Hastert

Life ain’t fair, but that don’t mean you can’t use its unfairness in your favor, sometime, like a receiver using a referee as a pick or a screen to get open in the end zone.

You can strike a “reasonable” series of bargains with the White House, like Tip O’Neill did long before your time, and come out of this smelling like a rose.\

Just put your country before your party, and things will look very different to you.

flag day

As for keeping your speakership? Well, remember, the Democrats have a lot of utterly wasted votes to use to keep you in power. They’re mostly pragmatic enough to keep you and block Eric Cantor.

You can save your legacy right now, John Boehner, and even paint yourself a hero.

Or you can be remembered forever with a flaming cross behind you.

Your choice.

It’s not too late to have bridges and post office buildings named after you — the sure sign of a successful politician.

Viagra

Courage.

* VINDICATION! After telling you since March of 2009 that this is a takeover of the old GOP, two journalists finally fessed up, yesterday. The Atlantic:

This isn’t “gridlock.” It is a ferocious struggle within one party, between its traditionalists and its radical factions, with results that unfortunately can harm all the rest of us — and, should there be a debt default, harm the rest of the world too.

And, in the Washington Post:

The real reality: Their performance was evidence of a fierce battle for control of the Republican Party, and one with high stakes. If Congress doesn’t agree on a budget by midnight Monday, the government shuts down. That could mean terrible consequences for millions of Americans and the economy.

Glad to see they’re catching up. Next, they can apologize to Galileo.

galileo00Galileo on Italian Lire note

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A writer, published author, novelist, literary critic and political observer for a quarter of a quarter-century more than a quarter-century, Hart Williams has lived in the American West for his entire life. Having grown up in Wyoming, Kansas and New Mexico, a survivor of Texas and a veteran of Hollywood, Mr. Williams currently lives in Oregon, along with an astonishing amount of pollen. He has a lively blog His Vorpal Sword. This is cross-posted from his blog.

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