How do Colombians feel about the seven military bases the United States intends to build on their nation’s land? According to this off-color tongue-in-cheek column by Colombian writer and art professor Lucas Ospina, it’s alright with him – with one important proviso.
“The North American bases will be a beachhead. It is essential that the Marines who come to our country be openly gay, so that the “sodomite” North American soldiers contaminate Colombian troops. Some of them will come out of the closet, others will knock the war mongers from their ranks to enlist more gays; the guerrillas and paramilitaries will also be infiltrated and succumb to the same destiny, ergo, the Venezuelan military will change its raison d’etre and at the same time the Libyan and Iranian militaries would be infected …”
“The solders in charge of maintaining world peace will be a colorful and festive army and would no longer participate in arms races. Instead, all kinds of trials and disputes would be resolved in the men’s room of the redecorated United Nations. … the world will no longer have wars but global orgies … for those people will go beyond petty national differences.”
By Lucas Ospina*
Translated By Liz Essary
September 30, 2009
Colombia – Semana – Original Article (Spanish)
“We should find new solutions for new problems.” These are words spoken in 1962 by thinker Ignatius J. Reilly, someone from the United States who lived out the better part of his existence in New Orleans, was a pupil of John Kennedy Toole and molded his philosophy out of the works of medieval philosopher Boecio.
This logic was one of the cornerstones of the philosophical tradition developed by O’Reilly, and his ideas could be of great benefit to the nations to the south of the southern United States.
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