Top Ten Cloves: Ideas For Mayor Dave Bing To Save Detroit
by J. Thomas Duffy
News Item: Mayor of Detroit welcomes any ideas to save troubled city
10. Tell those 400 Super Bowl Fans who got mushed, that you won’t let them down, that you have 400 seats for them in Detroit
9. Get on the phone with Dolly Parton and see if the two of can brainstorm “Detroitwood.”
8. Help out the Egyptian protesters and see if PresidentHosni Mubarak would be interested in one of those $1,000 houses
7. Recruit LeBron James, so we can hear “… I’m bringing my talents to the Motor City”
6. Beat her to the punch and trademark the name “Sarah Palin”, you’ll make millions.
4. Announce that you’re bringing in Christina Aguilera to sing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ at all sporting events in Detroit – People will flock to the city, to see if she flubs the lyrics again.
3. Work out a deal with Faux News, and Glenn Beck, and offer Detroit as the first line of defense against the coming Caliphate.
2. Call Tim Armstrong and see if AOL is still in the buying mood.
1. Run a commercial: “Detroit … Applydirectly to your forehead … Detroit … Apply directly to your forehead”
Bonus Riffs
Noonan Gives Palin, McCain A “Full Detroit”
In The “Holy Cow” Dept; Denver Homeless Getting The Noonan “Full Detroit”
J. Thomas Duffy writes the satire blog The Garlic. This is cross posted from that blog. He is a Contributing Editor of The Reaction.