THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:
BUSH OPPOSES MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A FLAG
Constitutional Amendment Could Become Hot-Button Issue for NovemberIn what many political observers believe could become an effective wedge issue in the 2006 midterm elections, President George W. Bush today proposed a constitutional amendment banning marriage between a man and a flag.
In a nationally televised address from the Oval Office, the president said that the proposed amendment was intended to protect two embattled American institutions: traditional marriage, and the American flag.
“We must define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, and not between a man and a flag,” Mr. Bush said. “Additionally, just as we seek to protect flags from being burned, we must protect them from being married.”
The president’s proposal seemed intended to cause trouble among congressional Democrats, many of whom have no stated opinion on the issue of man-flag unions.
But 2004 Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry was quick out of the box in response to the president’s speech, telling reporters, “Before the end of the day, I intend to have at least three or four different positions on this issue.”
There’s MORE so be sure to read the whole thing.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.