THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:
Bin Laden Denounces Inclusion on Worst Dressed List
Declares Global Jihad against Mr. BlackwellA furious Osama bin Laden appeared on the Arabic-language Al-Jazeera network last night to denounce his inclusion on the latest edition of Mr. Blackwell’s infamous Worst Dressed List.
In his half-hour tirade, the world’s most wanted man left no doubt that he was incensed at being considered one of the world’s worst dressed men as well.
Wearing his trademark robe and sporting a white, flowing beard, the al-Qaeda terror mastermind lambasted his inclusion on a list that also featured such Hollywood notables as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan.
“The infidel who placed me on this ignoble list will be forced to pay,� warned Mr. bin Laden, who used his television appearance to declare a global jihad against Mr. Blackwell.
But reached at his office in Beverly Hills, Mr. Blackwell seemed unruffled by Mr. bin Laden’s threat, and even went so far as to criticize his appearance on television: “If you’re going to complain about being on my list, why would you go on TV wearing that dress?�
Calling Mr. bin Laden’s sartorial sense “tacky, tacky, tacky,� Mr. Blackwell said, “Half the time he looks like an extra in ‘Lord of the Rings.’�
While Mr. Blackwell said he had no regrets about placing the al-Qaeda leader on the Worst Dressed List, he stopped short of putting him in the same echelon as Ms. Hilton and Ms. Spears, who tied for #1.
“At least he wears underwear,� he said. “I think.�
There’s more so read the whole thing. And check out Borowitz’s latest so-silly-it-must-be-real book:
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.