You KNEW it would happen, and it did. Comedians are having a field day with the Michael Jackson trial and verdict. Here are a few we’ve selected 4 U:
“It was reported that since the verdict was announced, sales of Michael Jackson’s CDs have gone up significantly. After hearing about it, Michael Bolton announced he sleeps with young boys.” –Conan O’Brien.
“As you know Michael Jackson was found not guilty on all ten counts. Now he says he wants to just go back to his normal reclusive whack job self.” –David Letterman
“Legal experts say the key was that the defense really didn’t play the race card. Well, duh. They didn’t know which race to play.” –Jay Leno
“Brain cells were grown in a laboratory in Florida — actual human brain cells. Now the next step. They’re going to transplant them into a California jury.” –David Letterman
Good news for Michael Jackson, not guilty on ten counts! The bad news — he’s going to Disneyland!” –Jay Leno
“It’s like they always say, if you’re rich and white, you can get away with anything.” –Jimmy Kimmel, on the Michael Jackson verdict
“This just in — Saddam Hussein would like his trial moved to Santa Maria, California.” –David Letterman
“After the trial the press was talking to the jurors and one of the jurors said that Michael’s innocence was as plain as the nose on his face.” –David Letterman
“Michael said he was thankful for the California legal system and a jury of 12 dumbasses.” –David Letterman
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.