My friend, Genie Hargrove, believes God put her on this earth, at this time, to be minister of a small country Baptist church. The place, Devereux, GA, is in the heart of the poorest county in Georgia. The church, at the end of a winding dirt road, was founded in 1791. Genie, the pastor, is an out lesbian.
When she first told me the story of her ordination council I knew I wanted to make a video. It was the height of the culture wars, we were in rural Georgia and the state was considering a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage that would go on to be approved by 76% of the voters — and there I was sitting with an out lesbian about-to-be-ordained Southern Baptist preacher.
We recorded an interview with Genie in silhouette because we wanted to protect the church. Things got heated when a group of local ministers tried to have her removed as pastor of her church. The video project was put on hold. In 2009, my partner and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. We asked Genie to officiate the Renewing Our Commitment ceremony.
When StoryCorps, the oral history project familiar to public radio listeners, came to Macon, GA, we signed up to do an interview and our video project was given new life.
While I believe Genie’s story is unique, I know that there is nothing especially noteworthy about out gay and lesbian clergy. Still, just this week a woman asked me why lesbian and gay people think they have to go around talking about their orientation all the time.
“I don’t go around saying that I like men,” she said.
I answered that she didn’t have to; that everyone assumes she likes men. And here they assume that I am straight. To not tell people is to live and hide in shame. And people who live in shame are more likely to act in shameful ways. I have an obligation to my community to be out and proud.
We recently remortgaged our house. Every one of the lawyers, bankers and others involved in the transaction — good, conservative Christians, all — asked if we filed our taxes jointly. They seemed surprised when we said no. These people, this community, likes and embraces us; and I have no doubt that many, if not all, of them voted for that constitutional amendment even as they assumed we would file our taxes jointly.
They do not make the connection.
The reason we have to tell our stories over and over and over again is so that people do make that connection.
Genie is also an accountant. We release this video on the traditional tax day to honor her. We’d also like to thank all of the people at StoryCorps, especially Jackie Sojico who facilitated our interview and Alyssa Nitchun who helped secure permission for me to use the audio of that interview in this video.