A Country Trumpkim Leads America
Well, the summit with Kim is over and neither Trump nor Kim attacked each other, fainted or had a heart attack. (Larry Kudlow, Trump’s new economic advisor did, but not because of the summit.) Those who were predicting a major confrontation between the two narcissists were surprised or disappointed, with both men acting politely and friendly. In fact, they both seemed to be having a good time. Trump is known to have a yen (wrong currency) won for Korean food almost as much as he does for McDonald’s cheeseburgers, though he keeps this hidden from the American public as Korean food is not going to make America great again. Since they were in Singapore, Kim brought a cache of kimchee and other Korean provisions in his diplomatic pouches and shared them with Trump when they were alone with their interpreters. Trump ordered a few dozen cheeseburgers from the McDonalds down the street to share with his new buddy. Both men may have added a few more pounds, but they were able to consume most of the Korean and American delicacies.
Over their meal, the two friends discussed women and the strategies they used to entice women into bed. Interestingly, they both employed similar tactics, cavemen style, grabbing women they wanted by their pussies and pulling them into bed. Having bonded over the food and fondness for women, they slipped into a discussion of the third item on their agenda- how Kim could enhance his real estate holdings and build a world class golf course in North Korea. Trump promised to help him with the golf course and also to give him a few free lessons in both golf and real estate, if Kim would be willing to eliminate his nuclear weapons and missiles. Kim, who is a great lover of sports, said that he already had a great athlete ready to help him with his golf game, Dennis Rodman. So Trump would have to come up with some other ideas if he were going to go ahead and destroy his nukes.
Trump thought for a while, though it seemed like he was snoring, and hit on a winner. He invited Kim and his wife to an exclusive two week all-paid vacation at Mar-a-Lago, where he could stay with The Donald and Melania at their villa and get started on his golf game. It would be better in the fall when the weather was a bit cooler. They could also do some fishing, visit the Keys and eat themselves silly and maybe pick up some pussy on the side. Guys night out extended for a few days. Kim started to accept when one of his aides whispered something in his ear.
Kim then apologized to Trump, saying he could not make it at that time. Maybe in the winter or the spring. There were some executions he had to oversee and Xi and Putin were scheduled to visit him to discuss trade and armaments. However, he told Trump that he would much rather spend the time with him, as it seemed like it would be a lot more fun. Could they put it off for a few months?
Trump replied certainly, but he did want to get the nuclear issue off the table so they could concentrate on just having a good time. I’m willing, Kim declared, but what can I get in return to show the North Korean people that I am a smart negotiator.
Trump answered immediately, showing that he had prepared for this encounter. How about a few casinos in Atlantic City that I used to own? I could probably pick them up for a song and I’m sure with you running them they would be much more successful. Hell, we could make arrangements so that you could have direct flights from Pyongyang to Atlantic City, giving your most deserving citizens a great vacation while making a few bucks on the side. How does that sound to you?
Kim didn’t answer immediately, then responded. I like it, he said. I think you and I can do business. But I want to hold onto the nukes for a while longer. Don’t worry. I’ll get rid of them eventually. But it took so much effort to make them and I love to run my hands over the smooth shiny metal. Tell your citizens that we reached a tentative agreement on the nuclear weapons and that we have to work out the details. This way, we can both be heroes and continue to be good friends.
Okay. I trust you. We’re both going to come out of this looking good and in time the nuclear weapons will be gone. Maybe we can win joint Nobel Peace Prizes for this. Makes much more sense than Obama’s. Do you know if they give you a big gold cup or just a little plaque and a piece of parchment? Whatever. I’ll keep it at Mar-a-Lago so all my golfing friends will see that I really did it. And we can keep our diplomats discussing the nuclear issue for the next few years.