Why Not Arm The Students, Too?

South Dakota has just enacted a law that lets teachers carry guns in their classrooms. Not a bad idea. Sure, the chances of a crazed gunman coming to a school in the state and doing the horrible things done recently in Connecticut are…well…infinitesimal. And there are so many better and safer ways to protect students against such a happening than arming teachers.

But hey. There’s the Second Amendment. Right

But if you’re gonna do a Second Amendment number that envisions arming teachers to defend their classrooms, doesn’t it make even more sense to arm the students in these classrooms as well? You know. In case there’s more than one crazed killer coming in to do a shoot-em-up. You don’t want an outnumbered teacher standing alone defending her charges with a single AK-47, when youngsters armed with their own pistols can join in the defense. (NOTE: Students shouldn’t have bigger guns than their teachers, it might undermine classroom discipline).

Well, gotta run. Gotta get back to my VCR and another viewing (the 121st I think) of my favorite Second Amendment movie.

No, not “Red Dawn.” That was a good one, and darn realistic, too. A bunch of American teens armed to the teeth defeating Russian parachutists led by an evil Cuban seeking to occupy America and seize our womenfolk to sate their unspeakable foreign lusts. No, my favorite Second Amendment flick is “Tremors.”

There’s that wonderful scene in “Tremors” where a monstrous critter (possibly spawned by Mexican scientists, though this is never actually stated) tries to break into an American couple’s rec room through its wall, not realizing the rec room’s American occupants are well armed with every caliber firearm, small and large, up to and including an elephant gun that finally sends the critter back to its liberal hell.

Maybe we should make “Tremors” part of the national school curriculum. Along with reading, writing, pledging allegiance to the flag, and teachings Judeo-Christian theology. Just an idea. Premature, maybe. But if we manage somehow to get it before the Scalia court…

(See a parrot, a French bulldog and two baby boomers save the world in Kay Wood’s wry and funny graphic novel, The Big Belch. It’s a Kickstarter project that really, really deserves your support!)