by Barry Berman
What’s the opposite of “exile?” “Inile?”
Whatever the state we are in, I’m already noticing stages from the beginning (about a month ago) to today.
We are settling in.
There’s now a normalcy to our common predicament. And, while we still may be frightened, nervous and uncertain, the shock is wearing off and we are developing routines. Shopping every other week, a daily walk or run, limiting the amount of time we’re gazing at CNN, Zooming with friends.
We now realize we’re in this for a while and that, somehow, life will be forever different. Yet we don’t know what it’s going to be like, how long we will be in this stage or how we’ll be changed afterward.
I’ve noticed, however, some changes in this current stage. Three weeks ago, we looked at everybody who crossed our path as evil carriers who will bring us certain death. We gave them no eye contact, no acknowledgement of any kind. Just a dramatic shift away from their paths.
Now, we realize that they are not the boogey man or woman. People greet each other with a “hi” a wave, a smile. Another sign that we’re all in this together. In fact, people we pass are more friendly than in the pre-Corona days. We have a common bond and understanding.
We plan our grocery trips and know how to work the Instacart service. We are making adjustments: frozen bagels, 2% non-organic milk, 1-ply towels, a five-pound bag of red onions not the one Vidalia you ordered. The liquor cabinet is dry except for the bottle of Canadian Club left over from my parents’ house 15 years ago; it’s tasting fine now.
We each have come to our own understanding of how to be. Wash the mail? Three feet or 10? Shoes off at the door? Wash the credit cards? Cover your chin with the mask? Have a designated shopper? Wear gloves? Touch or don’t touch the garbage can handle.
We no longer freak out every time when we touch our nose or cough (just some of the time). We do, still, wash our hands every 15 minutes. We find that Facebook, which we had mixed feelings about a month ago, is filling a very real need now that virtual visits and chats are what we have to cling to day-to-day. We now eat things we’d say, “no thank you” to about a month ago. We learn to avoid dog walkers because they can’t always control where Fido wants to go. And, bicycle riders still freak us out.
We’re starting to realize things we haven’t thought about in stage one, which was all about live or die. Now it’s hair length and dye. Will we ever shake someone’s hand again? Will there be a new snob class, those who have had it and are immune and then the rest of us? Will they wear badges?
Our Zoom calls are no longer focused on tips and coping and fear. Our humor and humanity are coming back. And we are also, sadly, reminded of things outside of the Corona-sphere, as Peggy got another call about a friend dying, the second in a week and of causes totally unrelated to the Pandemic.
It’s not enough to say, this is the new normal, because we are all aware that normal is changing at a rate we’re not used to. On any given day, however, we feel normal-ish and to some extent, that’s comforting.
We are mentally adjusting for the long haul.
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Listen to the Bangles, Manic Monday.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcKofS-Bpvg
Barry Berman was founder of CRN International and Connecticut Radio Network. He is an entrepreneur, writer and broadcaster and is starting, Sounds Great! Media a boutique digital audio (podcasting) agency and consultancy with an emphasis on health and wellness.