Subtitle this one “Your U.S. Foreign Aid At Work”:
Pakistan says it has paid 32m rupees ($540,000) to help four former wanted tribal militants in South Waziristan settle debts with al-Qaeda.
Military operations chief in the region, Lt Gen Safdar Hussain, said the payments were part of a peace deal signed on Monday with tribesmen.
It is the first time Pakistan has admitted making such payments.
Also on Wednesday, wanted militant Abdullah Mehsud rejected Monday’s peace deal signed by others in his tribe.
Gen Hussain said four former wanted militants had insisted they needed the money to pay back huge sums to al-Qaeda.
Haji Sharif and Maulvi Abbas received 15m rupees each, while Maulvi Javed and Haji Mohammad Omar were each paid one million rupees.
Gen Hussain said a sum of 20m rupees was also offered to tribal leader, Baitullah Mehsud, who signed the peace deal, but that he rejected it.
The commander said the militants had initially sought 170m rupees.
The peace deal offers an amnesty in return for the tribe’s pledge not to support al-Qaeda and Taleban militants or attack government installations.
Why does this make me think of Abbott & Costello’s classic comedy routine Who’s On First?
Let me see, now:
- The U.S. gives lots of money to Pakistan because that country is supposed to be helping us fight Al Qaeda.
- Pakistan is giving the tribal folks a mind-blogging batch of rupees to settle their debts to Al Qaeda.
- It’s all part of a peace deal because Pakistan doesn’t want the tribe to support al-Qazeda, etc.
So therefore giving the money to Pakistan to fight Al Qaeda so they could give money to the tribal folks to pay Al Qaeda so the tribal folks don’t support Al Qaeda makes sense.
Get it?
“…I Don’t Know’s on second….”
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Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.