Republicans, conservatives, right-wing talking heads, MAGAts, goons, and morons are still screaming and howling at President Joe Biden for “allowing” the Chinese Spy Balloon to fly across our nation from Alaska to South Carolina. But by all accounts, President Biden handled the situation in a very presidential manner.

The balloon was not a physical danger to anyone by flying across the nation. The military was more than likely jamming whatever transmissions it was trying to eavesdrop on. There was very little to gain from the aerial images it could have been taking because you can do that with Google Maps. The biggest thing is that it violated our airspace while either conducting espionage or just trying to piss us off.

The balloon was first sighted over the Aleutian islands which is helpful because now a dipshit like high school dropout and spouse of dick flasher to teenage girls in bowling alleys Lauren Boebert knows of the Aleutian islands. But upon first being sighted, it has to be identified and assessed. By the time that’s done, it was probably over Canada. Why didn’t they shoot it down?

When it reentered U.S. airspace, we couldn’t shoot it down because the falling debris could have harmed humans and property. The Defense Department said the falling debris would have a seven-mile radius. Cartoonist Michael Ramirez, who is not a military expert, accused Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin of having “empty space” between his ears. But why? Ramirez and his fellow ilk wanted Austin to shoot the balloon down and put American lives at risk. Of course, if they did shoot it down over someplace like Missouri and it had killed somebody, they would have used that to attack the administration. Jim Gym Jordan would have tweeted, “Why didn’t they wait until it was over the ocean?” I guarantee that.

Republicans have ignored the facts of the situation in order to continue criticizing Biden over this. They’ve claimed the balloon is flying over the U.S. now because Biden is weak and China never would have tried this shit with Trump in the White House, except they did…thrice. They’ve found the best answer to why Trump didn’t shoot down those three spying balloons is to deny it ever happened…but it did.

We found out that the Trump administration didn’t even know the balloons were over U.S. airspace at the time. Now, they can defend themselves with that, “We didn’t know but if we had, we would have shot it down immediately.” But, can you imagine if we found out later that there was a spy balloon over our nation and the Biden administration wasn’t aware of it? Why that would be weakness on the president’s part. But for Trump…IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. But it did.

Some goons have even said if the Chinese spy balloon had flown over Florida, that by golly gee wilikers, Governor Ron DeSantis would have shot it down. I guess that’s safe to say because he doesn’t care about the citizens of his state which means he would endanger them by shooting down a Chinese spy balloon over their heads. Maybe if he’s lucky, it’ll land on Disneyland. But…one of those three Chinese spy balloons that floated over the nation during the Trump presidency (sic) flew over it… I’ll give you one guess, time’s up… fucking Florida. Also, if there’s a book on how to shoot down Chinese spy balloons and it was written by a black guy, it’s been banned in Florida.

Since Republicans can’t legitimately attack President Biden over the balloon thing anymore because he did the right thing, waiting for it to be over the Atlantic Ocean before shooting it down, maybe they can go after him for Madonna’s new face.

Madonna appeared at the Grammys Sunday night with a new look. This was a huge shock because Madonna has only unveiled a new look every year since around 1983. Her look has constantly changed as well as her music. Remember the cones? Remember the gap? Remember the British accent? It’s what she does. One thing I’ve always respected about Madonna is that she would change her look at the height of a current trend.

I’m old so I can remember that her first look was the bubblegum pop Marylin Monroe-type thing she had going on. For reference, check “Desperately Seeking Susan.” She was the hottest thing in the world and then she chopped off all her hair and came out with a very sad depressing song, “Live To Tell.” Do you know what happened? She got bigger. She became an artist.

Did I listen to her music? Not really. I didn’t care for “Borderline,” “Holiday,” “Get Into the Groove,” and I HATED “Material Girl.” I didn’t even care that much for “Live To Tell” or “Papa Don’t Preach.” After that, I got into some of her stuff. I really liked “La Isla Bonita.” I thought “Cherish” was kinda ingenious in the way the last word of a line was the first word in the next line. “Ray of Life” was kinda cool in that she went rave but kept the pop aspect. I loved all the pauses in the guitar riff of “Don’t Tell Me.” Now that’s probably every song by Madonna I like. My point is, I do respect her.

Yes, she’s 64. A lot of people are freaking out over her new look. While some say she should act her age, they’re forgetting one thing. She’s Madonna. This is what she does.

One of my proofers said Madonna changing her looks isn’t something to make fun of and that it’s sexist and ageist. I agree, even while my caricature is making fun of her (and I make fun of everyone I draw). But my shot here is directed more at Fox News and its audience. I don’t have a reason to make fun of Madonna, a 64-year-old woman. From my point of view, Madonna can do whatever the hell she wants. She’s more than earned it.

So I’m surprised President Biden hasn’t been blamed yet for Madonna’s new look. And why not? Everything else they’re using from the balloon to Hunter’s laptop is also made up.

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged Clay Jones, Republicans, Editorial cartoons, Fox News, Political Cartoons, claytoonz, Cartoons, Trump, Tucker Carlson, Chinese Spy Balloon, Madonna on February 7, 2023. 2 Comments
CHINESE FLOATY
5 Votes

” He might also ask, “Will this hurt the over dozen patents China gave Ivanka?” He’d probably also ask, “Balloons? Why didn’t I get a balloon? Isn’t every day all about me? And where’s my cake?” He’d definitely ask, “Before we shoot it down, it’s not from Russia, is it?” I’m sure after it was shot down he’d boast that he shot it down while Obama never shot down a Chinese spy balloon. And if China sent a balloon while Trump was president, he’d probably say it was a gift for the cake he gave Xi Jinping at Mar-a-Lago.

Ya see, Lauren Boebert, Russia wouldn’t DARE fly a spy balloon over American air space if Donald Trump was president. They wouldn’t have to. They’d just have to visit the Oval Office where Trump wouldn’t allow the press to watch, and where Trump will gladly give them classified information, even if it came from an ally.

So I don’t want to hear this shit about President Biden being weak and Trump being a strong president (sic) who was oh-so patriotic. Donald Trump was a goon for Russia. He was a useful idiot. Donald Trump said he trusted Putin more than American intelligence, which he recently reiterated. Donald Trump said Putin was a stronger leader than President Obama. Donald Trump repeated Putin’s talking points. Donald Trump said Putin was a genius for invading Ukraine. Donald Trump sent white nationalist terrorists to attack the Capitol in order to install him as an unelected dictator. Donald Trump is a domestic threat to this nation.

I think one thing the spy balloon tells us is that China’s technology isn’t as advanced as we thought it was. While we’re upset about the balloon invading our airspace, our satellites do this daily to China and other nations.

I don’t believe our government is going to allow this balloon to escape. They’ll either shoot it down after it passes over the east coast and is above open water. Or better yet, they’ll capture it.

The Chinese spy balloon won’t be a threat to this nation for long. Unfortunately, we’ll still have the hot air of the Russian spy balloon for a long time.

Visit Clay Jones’ website and email him at [email protected].