Just for a minute forget the (as usual) partisan and not-so-partisan takes on the seriousness or lack of seriousness swirling around Rep. Anthony Weiner and a certain Twitter Tweet. For partisans, it’s one more skirmish in the never ending political war. For the media, it’s a story made all the more tantilizing because Weiner almost seems to be pleading for more coverage in the way he’s handling it. For years p.r. mavens will point to him as a way to not handle a crisis.
For late night comedians Weinergate — a story that would only lend itself to more comedy if Weiner had shown his buns — is a boon to comedians.
And you thought a treasure trove was found at Casa de Bin Laden in Pakistan? Sample some of these:
“I’m not certain of a lot of things. But there are three things in this world that I know for certain: Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie. OJ killed those people. And what my erect penis looks like in my own underwear from a bird’s-eye view.” –Jon Stewart, on Rep. Anthony Weiner’s claim that he “can’t say with certitude” whether a photo posted on his Twitter account of a man wearing just boxer shorts was actually him
“I see only two options here: Either Anthony Weiner has too many photos of his junk to keep track of, or ‘Certitiude’ is his nickname for his penis.” –Stephen Colbert
“Congressman Weiner’s Twitter account was hacked ‘allegedly,’ and someone texted a picture of his ‘junior senator’ to a college girl. Now this is good news for me because I can Google ‘wiener photos’ at work and not get fired.” –Craig Ferguson
“In real life, in my memory, this guy had a lot more ‘Anthony’ and a lot less ‘Weiner.’ … “The only thing they have in common is that they both lean to the extreme left!” –Jon Stewart, on allegations that Rep. Anthony Weiner, a former housemate of Stewart’s, sent out a crotch photo from his Twitter account
Journalists and Twitter fanatics have had a field day:
There were witticisms as well as new coinage of words like ‘Twimmolate’. James Poniewozik asked in TIME if the controversial photo was Weiener’s ‘package’ or just a ‘hackage’. “Was Anthony Weiner framed, or did he self-twimmolate?” the article asks….
….BorowitzReport: Bill Clinton Blasts Weiner: “In my day, we’d show it to ’em in person.”
Again from the same tweeter: “Weiner ‘Totally Un-smooth with Women,’ Says Dominique Strauss-Kahn”
juliethuddy didn’t pull a punch before landing this one: “Congressman Weiner said he would use all his weight to get to bottom of twitter incident. Seeing photo it wont be much.”
And Christian Science Monitor made a nice coinage ‘twitter away’. “Anthony Weiner: Were his dreams of being mayor just Twittered away?
humorherald says this: Wear Your Cape – Anthony Weiner Legally Changes Last Name to ‘NothingToLookAtHere’.For ‘StephanieWDC’ Weiner has become hot property after his expose. “For my money, Rep Weiner can send me a pic of his junk every day of the week if he continues to legislate like he does,” the tweet says.
For some, the political connotations of the moment Weiner lost his pants are hard to miss. “Mitt Romney Gets In and It Appears Anthony Weiner Wears Underwear on His Head,” posted Erick Erickson.
Another one, from bignels2012: “No Pun intended , But Anthony Weiner is only making it hardon himself by lying and should resign NOW!
But my favorite (who on my Twitter page I often Retweet) is Andy Borowitz and here are some of his Tweets:
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
BREAKING: Weiner ‘Totally Un-smooth with Women,’ Says Dominique Strauss-Kahn
12 hours agoBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
If you become my friend on Facebook, I promise not to show you my penis: http://on.fb.me/kayJ2u
13 hours agoprofLind Jennifer Lind
by BorowitzReport@
@BorowitzReport CBS headline–I am not making this up: “Probe could give Weiner more headaches”
23 hours agoBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
The Weinergate thing will probably help politicians who don’t have a penis, like Mitt Romney.
23 hours agoBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
BREAKING: Weiner to Present New Package to Congress
2 JunBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
FAQs About Anthony Weiner’s Penis: http://bit.ly/kZ0leE
2 JunBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
“it is time for these babyish Weiner jokes to stop,” said Weiner spokesman Hugh G. Rection.
2 JunBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Anthony Weiner seeks to control the damage by hiring new spokesman, John-Peter Schlong.
2 JunBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Anthony Weiner Riddle: Q: Why did Anthony Weiner hire a lawyer? A: To help him with his briefs.
31 MayBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
BREAKING: Anthony Weiner calls his penis a minor distraction. #thatswhatshesaid
31 May
And of course there are videos on Twitter. A mocking one:
And a clip from the always must watch MSNBC show Morning Joe:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGVaAgxn6O0
As Rep. Weiner continues to speak on the subject, and encourages more news stories, and as partisans try to extract maximum political gain or impose maximum damage control, expect much more comedy to follow. Many of the late night comedians’ shows were in reruns last week.
The Weiner story promises to be the ongoing Viagra of the comedy and ridicule business.
The cheap jokes will continue but one day they’ll cease and Weiner can re-enter the public intercourse and hold his head erect.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.