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Posted by on Apr 5, 2009 in Arts & Entertainment, Politics | 17 comments

Fauxrage Watch: Obama Bows. America Doomed.

You may not be aware of it unless you follow the correct news sources, but America’s best days are behind her. We sit disgraced and dismissed by proper nations after our virtual submission to our betters by the President of the United States, who is apparently a clueless loser. Yes, my friends, worse has come to worst because Barack Obama bowed at the waist while meeting King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. (Should you wish to watch the downfall of America, you may do so on YouTube here.)

Fortunately for all of us, the guardians of American excellence, dignity and exceptionalism are ever vigilant! And now, to the Fauxrage list!

Clarice Feldman clucks her tongue and finds it “most unbecoming” that a president would bow to a “slave-keeping Arab King.” (Wait a minute… isn’t this the same slave-keeping Arab King that’s an important ally in the Global War on Terror and Everything Else, not to mention a vital partner in global economics and trade?)

Michelle Malkin is at least even handed in her disgust for GWB cozying up to the King, but also that Obama is “bowing and scraping.”

The Jammie Wearing Fool poses the poignant question, “Is Obama that stupid he doesn’t know only his subjects bow before him?” (Errr… actually, no. His subjects are forbidden to do it.)

Gateway Pundit seems more incensed that Obama would bow before King Abdullah, but dissed the good monarch. “Proper protocol is to bow before the Queen of England.” (You guys really need to hold a conference call before posting. Your friends are all busy saying the President bows before nobody!)

Speaking of royalty, one of the more potty mouthed queens of Right wing sanctimony opines that, “it looks like he’s sucking his *****.” Stay classy, friends. Stay classy.

Sadly, the judges in the Fauxrage Olympics must award the winning score of 9.7 to the generally reliable Hot Air, which has been all over this story like a cheap suit on a hobo. In a mere 48 hours, they managed to post not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE feature articles on this world shaking subject. Descriptions included conclusions that this proved the new president to be “weak” and “disgraceful” and “obsequious,” not to mention demanding that the “national media” report on this atrocity! (For the record, this is the same site complaining during the same time period about the manufactured outrage against Mike Huckabee.)

The real mystery is how all of these these defenders of American pride and deportment missed the real stories from Obama’s trip to Europe. Did you know that he nodded to Nicolas Sarkozy but nodded and waved to Gordon Brown?!? What’s this guy got against the French? Even worse, when shaking hands with Angela Merkel he only pumped her hand up and down twice, but Hu Jintao got three pumps! How we’re not at war with Germany already is a mystery to most observers.

Look, I didn’t vote for the guy either, but this is so much manufactured outrage over a momentary show of respect – even if it was somewhat politically tone deaf – that it shoots right past funny and fully into the Twilight Zone. There’s plenty to be concerned about regarding Obama administration policies, (such as the recent budget passed in the dark of night and a lack of interest in entitlement reform) but this Fauxrage is just a distraction, and a rather silly one at that. Or do you see it differently? How much significance to we need to assign to every single gesture and syllable coming from the Oval Office now? Is it the end of the world and I just don’t know it?

Let’s close by revisiting some past moments with this “slave-owning king” who deserves nothing but the back of Obama’s hand rather than a bow at the waist.


(Note: Fauxrage Banner courtesy of T.G. Studios)