A couple of days ago, I tried to express in very non-clinical terms that the only difference I believe exists between black and white persons is the color of the skin, the kind and amount of skin pigmentation.
I also attempted to describe the fear, frustration and anger black persons must feel “more than 150 years after slavery was abolished, more than 50 years after the Civil Rights Act and decades after additional civil rights legislation was passed” during times when, once again, “equal justice” seems so far away.
I emphasize “attempted” because I will never be able to fathom the true and full extent of those feelings.
I asked, “Did you know that black persons get married, have children, have parents, have brothers and sisters and want nothing but the best for their loved ones – just like you and I?”
Had I read a letter written by a young African American woman just two days earlier, I would have relied on her beautiful and powerful words to express what I was “attempting” to describe
You see, Ebony Chisholm, an expectant mother (she is in the beginning stages of the second trimester), wrote a letter to her “beautiful, black unborn baby” in which she conveys that she wants nothing but the best for her baby (Just like you and I), but also feels “a mother’s instinct of fear and rage” something she has never felt before.
Of course, those feelings are brought about when – after enduring the dangers and uncertainties of the pandemic — her world is turned upside down when she learns of “the killings of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and finally George Floyd.” “All black, all unarmed, all of them could have been you” she tells her baby.
The anguished, expectant mother continues in her letter:
While this isn’t the first time we have watched innocent black men and women murdered, and while it will not be the last, this time it unearthed something inside of me that I have never felt before: a mother’s instinct of fear and rage.
She then dwells on the wonders of her pregnancy when she and the baby’s dad should be thinking “about who [the baby] will look like more, when will we feel you kick for the first time, whether you are a boy or a girl.”
But the baby’s gender doesn’t matter, Chisholm continues, “because either way, the only thing we can talk about is how we can protect you. When will be the first time we have to have a conversation about what not to do when you go outside? Do not keep your hands in your pockets, do not wear a hood, if you are stopped by the police keep your hands on the steering wheel at all times, if you are ever detained (no matter what the reason) immediately ask for an attorney, never let yourself be alone in a room with law enforcement if you can avoid it, and so on.”
Then she asks a question that must terrify her to have to ask, “Why will too many people in this country see you as a threat solely based on the color of your skin?”
Chisholm continues her conversation with her baby, warning the baby that he or she, or any black child, “could easily be another George, another Breonna, another Ahmaud, or any of the other hundreds of black men and women killed by law enforcement or white civilians.”
Once again, Chisholm expresses her fears and how she wants to protect the baby “from the hate and evil that spews from the mouths of those that hide behind a dictator who warrants violence — daily — against me, your father, and now, you.”
Admitting that she won’t be able to protect her baby forever, Chisholm concludes:
I know that I won’t be able to keep you under my wing forever, but what I can and will continue to do for your entire life is tell you that you are black, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are powerful. No matter what you hear or see, I want you to be proud of who you are, know that your skin will radiate to all those around you and know that you can do anything.
If you ever forget that or anyone makes you feel anything less-than, your mom and dad will be there to remind you that your life matters and all black lives matter. Our backs will be holding you up. Forever.
Love always,
Your mom
Ebony Chisholm is the managing director of External Affairs with Educators for Excellence — Connecticut, and a Middletown resident.
Read the full letter at the Hartford Courant.
