Transcript of a telephone call to Donald Trump

By Don Hermann

Hello Donald. This is Joe.

I see you’re having a lot of problems.

More than usual.

I’m not an expert at this but if I would guess, I assume some of them are age related.

You’ve been quite transparent lately.

Like you’re losing it completely.

To start with, there seems to be some confusion about who you’re running
against.

I think part of the problem relates to some advice my Dad gave to me.

“Joey, don’t let a lie control your life. You’re human. Like all of us, you can make a mistake now and then. Face up to it. It involves TRUST.”

Look at the pickle you got yourself in, Donald. There’s hardly anyone you come into contact with that you don’t criticize, make fun of or try to take advantage of.

It’s the classic sign of a coward.

You used the Bully Approach to control members of your party in Congress.

That was shocking. They really showed their true colors. They became extensions of you. Cowards with no backbone.
They and you almost succeeded in taking the country down. But it doesn’t look promising for you.

You know as well as anyone, that in addition to your existing residences, you will be residing at a government facility with three squares a day.

No golf. No touching women inappropriately.

You may be able to bring large rollers for your hair.

Members of NATO are now going to breathe more easily.

Well meaning people around the world are going to recite “GOD BLESS AMERICA.”

So you won’t feel completely alone, at one of our NATO meetings we’ll send you a greeting compliments of X (formerly Twitter).