by Laurie Baron
Debates traditionally provide the opportunity for candidates to puff up their public reputations. This year the Republican Presidential Debates have deflated their stature. This partly stems from Donald Trump sucking up all the oxygen in the news cycle, but also from his opponents pathetically trying to be Trump without the baggage and conveniently forgetting that the baggage is what endears him to the MAGA base. When the candidates lamented about Republicans losing, they seemed unaware that in the Trump-era Republicans never lose, they only have elections stolen from them.
Vivek Ramaswamy, whom Trump is bound to rename Dipstick Iamsmarmy, upped the MAGA ante on immigration by proposing building a wall along the Canadian border. After all, those Canadians are plotting to invade the USA and force Americans to punctuate every sentence with hey. Moreover, they plan to flood the American market with fentanyl-infused maple syrup to hook the customers at IHOPs and Waffle Houses on the drug and “sap” their xenophobia.
Nikki Haley talked out of both sides of her mouth proclaiming that she’s pro-life but respects Americans who are pro-choice. In her America pro-choice residents of states with abortion bans will be deported to states where abortion remains legal.
DeSantis and Haley argued over who is more anti-Chinese and vowed never to order out from a Chinese restaurant in the future. Dipstick chimed in that Haley’s daughter watches TikTok stoking fears that the Chinese might steal her dance moves. He also mocked DeSantis for wearing lifts and Haley for wearing high heels. They snapped back that he has been seen wearing sneakers illustrating what kind of person he is.
Except for Haley, the candidates opposed further aid to Ukraine because they don’t want to offend Trump’s buddy, Vladie the Baddie. DeSantis proposed sending American troops and drones to Mexico to kill drug smugglers and confiscate the money Mexico owes for the wall.
Throughout the debate, Scott called for “restoring our Christian values,” a promise certain to resonate with the one-third of Americans who don’t identify as Christians. Of course, those communist atheists vote for Democrats anyway.
Only Chris Christie warned against nominating Trump again given his character flaws and legal woes. If Christie drops out of the race, the next debate will be advertised as the “Gang of Clones.”
Baron is professor emeritus at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via [email protected]. This article is republished from San Diego Jewish World which, along with The Moderate Voice, is a member of the San Diego Online News Association.
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