Get a cup of coffee and sit down. This is my final pitch before election day (you may have already voted) for why you should NOT vote for Donald Trump. I have been putting this together since late August. I’m going to list every reason I can think of that should persuade you from voting for Donald Trump. I believe every single one of these issues, or points, is a stand alone disqualifier from voting for Donald Trump.
Number 1. Donald Trump’s hair. Is this petty? No. If you had never heard of or seen Donald Trump, the first thing you’d notice is the hair. In the future, when kids open their history books and see his photo, they’re going to say, “What the fuck?” Now, when we go through our history books, we see that presidents wore wigs in the earliest days of the presidency, then there was a beard fad for about a hundred years. Then, they started wearing modern suits and most had normal hair except for maybe Ronald Reagan which still wasn’t scary-clown frightening. When you look at Donald Trump, nobody in the present day has hair like Donald Trump’s. It’s insane. Even other people with comb-overs say, “KILL IT!!!” Basically, anyone who chooses to look like that is mentally unstable. Thus, do not vote for someone who is mentally unstable.
Number 2. He paints himself orange. It’s gotten to the point his base accepts it as they mock liberals with “orange man bad.” Orange man is bad. Orange man is also mentally unstable for choosing to be orange. This is not a natural pigmentation. Again, mentally unstable. Don’t vote for orange fuckers. And I mean people who are fucking orange, not fucking oranges. But then again, don’t vote for them either.
Number 3. This should not even be something I have to tell you. Do not vote for the man endorsed by Vladimir Putin. Doesn’t that tell you enough? Russia is an enemy of ours. Whichever candidate, not just that they prefer but one they actively seek to get elected, is NOT the candidate who will have our nation’s best interest at heart. It’s an election primer. Don’t vote for the Putin guy.
Number 4. He’s a moron. He’s stupid. He can’t comprehend.
Number 5. No president has ever had as many former staffers criticize him. There have been warnings and statements that he’s not qualified and is seriously a danger to this nation. No president has ever had this. In fact, no president has ever attacked his former staffers as much as Donald Trump has. Donald Trump also told us he would hire the “best people.” There are a lot of Trump’s “best people” telling you not to vote for him.
Number 6. Russia, Russia, Russia. Yes. Donald Trump colluded with Russia. C’mon. His campaign invited Russians to Trump Tower for dirt on their opponent. How is that not at least attempting to collude? Donald Trump even publicly asked Russia to help him. He colluded. Russia answered the day he asked for help. Russia, Russia, Russia.
Number 7. Ukraine, Ukraine, Ukraine. The fucker asked Ukraine to help him. Get this: With Russia, Republicans say there was no collusion? Why are they afraid of there being collusion? Because collusion is bad and illegal. With Ukraine, they don’t say, “No collusion” because there was collusion. Now, they argue collusion is not bad.
Number 8. Nepotism. He hired his daughter to not do anything but look pretty and try to appear rational and he hired his son-in-law to help him engage in a lot of fuckery. His son-in-law actually went to the Russian embassy after the election and tried to establish a back channel of communication so the FBI and CIA wouldn’t catch them. Also, his son-in-law couldn’t get a security clearance until Donald Trump overruled the FBI.
Number 9. Donald Trump couldn’t get a security clearance if he wasn’t president. That’s a good reason not to vote for a motherf—er.
Number 10. Donald Trump gave away secrets to Russia in the Oval Office. In fact, he’s given away classified information several times. He’s even tweeted out classified information.
Number 11. He took Vladimir Putin’s word over our own intelligence agencies. That’s treasonous.
Number 12. He hates the troops. He’s feuded with Gold Star families. He’s said a POW isn’t a war hero. He’s ignored Putin putting bounties on American soldiers. He’s even lied while speaking to the troops about them receiving pay raises he gave them that they never received. He’s called them “suckers and losers.”
Number 13. He has ignored Putin putting bounties on American troops. Yes, I mentioned that above but it’s worth its own entry. He has ignored Putin putting bounties on our troops. It was worth repeating.
Number 14. He’s subservient to Putin. He even criticized America when Putin was criticized. Remember when Republicans spent eight years saying Obama was apologizing for America? Trump actually said “we’re not so nice” when it was pointed out that Putin had people killed. Donald Trump defended Putin by whatabouting our country.
Number 15. Donald Trump has called the free press the “enemy of the American people.” That is authoritarianism.
Number 16. He’s threatened to delay the election.
Number 17. He says he’ll block funding for the Post Office because it’ll encourage more people to vote. Seriously. Yes. He said this.
Number 18. He won’t stop talking about serving three terms or being president for life. For that, we should be shooting him out of a cannon in the direction of Russia instead of considering giving him a second term.
Number 19. He talks about being on Mount Rushmore. Dude, accomplish something positive first.
Number 20. His family hates him. C’mon. Who knows him better? Go talk to Mary Trump.
Number 21. He’s been married three times. Twice, to immigrants. All three times to models. It’s not so much as he has a type as he has a trend. The current but not the last, is 30 years younger. This wouldn’t be a big deal if it was one wife, but three?
Number 22. Donald Jr, Eric, and Ivanka. These are some stupid grifting kids. They came from Donald Trump’s genes, his DNA, his penis. There’s something fucked up in there to produce such evil sucklings.
Number 23. He wants to date his daughter. In case you’re a Republican, that’s gross. He’s talked about his daughter’s love for sex. Again, gross. He’s talked about his baby daughter’s future breasts. Gross. Gross. Gross.
Number 24. His suits don’t fit. Petty? If I was saying that about you, yeah. But Donald Trump isn’t just a billionaire. He’s a billionaire with his own clothing line. Why can’t he find a suit that fits? Again, this is a sign of being mentally unstable or at the very least, stupid. And if you don’t see that his suits don’t fit then you’ve never been fitted for a suit and it’s about time for you to go to Men’s Wearhouse. Stop buying your suits off the rack at Walmart.
Number 25. Over 230,000 dead from coronavirus. Why are we even discussing his reelection?
Number 26. The unemployment rate is at 8 percent. Why are we even discussing his reelection?
Number 27. He can’t rebuild the economy. He claims he did it once so he can do it again, but he never built it. President Obama built the economy and Joe Biden was his vice-president. Ya know, the smart thing to do would be to give Obama’s vice-president a shot at rebuilding the economy over the guy who never built it and can’t see it’s really fucked.
Number 28. He lies. He’s told over 21,000 lies. His very first act as president was to send his spokesgoon out to lie to you about crowd sizes.
Number 29. He’s assaulted women. He’s bragged about assaulting women. He’s bragged about barging in on dressing rooms while women were changing clothes. He’s bragged about barging in on dressing rooms while TEENAGE GIRLS were changing clothes. Why, why, why would you ever even consider voting for a fucker who does that? How many times has he barged in on his daughter changing clothes? People normally go to jail for this kind of shit.
Number 30. He’s a sexist. Notice he only uses “nasty” for women who oppose him?
Number 31. He can’t negotiate. Remember how he claims he’s the world’s best negotiator? Then, he negotiated the government shutdown with Nancy Pelosi, who was offering him some funding for his border wall before the shutdown, and he eventually ended the shutdown without getting any funding. He negotiated himself into getting nothing. In case you’re a Republican, good negotiators don’t do that.
Number 32. He’s a racist.
Number 33. He’s praised Nazis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said he condemns those tiki-torch Nazis in Charlottesville but there were good people marching with them. But, good people don’t march with Nazis. Good people don’t march with fuckers chanting “blood and soil” and “Jews will not replace us.” The only people marching with those Nazis were Nazis. He’s a Nazi lover. Don’t vote for Nazi lovers.
Number 34. He hires Nazis. Stephen Miller. That guy’s a Nazi. Even worse, he’s a Jewish Nazi.
Number 35. Conspiracy theories. He embraces bullshit. Obama wiretapped Trump Tower? Obama was born in Kenya? George Soros is funding immigrant caravans? bin Laden’s body double? I wouldn’t want to sit that guy at Thanksgiving. Forget putting him in the White House.
Number 36. Where’s that health care plan he promised in 2016? In fact, in the midst of a pandemic killing over 230,000 Americans and infecting over nine million, he tried to take away healthcare. Fuck a fucker who tries to steal healthcare during a pandemic.
Number 37. QAnon. These are crazy conspiracy-believing potential terrorists. Donald Trump praised them like he praised Nazis. In fact, they probably are Nazis. Fuck Nazis.
Number 38. Rudy Giuliani. Fu–k that guy.
Number 39. Corruption. Emolument violations, trips to his resorts on the taxpayer’s dime, trying to host the G7 at his resort, trying to host the British Open at his Scottish resort, etc. Donald Trump is corrupt.
Number 40. Goons. He hires goons. When there’s an Igor working for you, yeah.
Number 41. Goons going to prison. So far, seven of Donald Trump’s goons have been either arrested, indicted, convicted, or served time in jail. He’s even pardoned one of his goons and I guarantee after the election, he’ll pardon more.
Number 42. If he’s reelected, he’ll pull us out of NATO.
Number 43. He attacks our allies while cozying up to dictators. In case you’re a Republican, that’s wrong.
Number 44. North Korea. He’s given them credibility and we didn’t get anything in return. The “treaty” with North Korea only stipulates that they’ll maybe think about doing some things differently quite possibly perhaps.
Number 45. If he’s reelected, he’ll pull all our troops from the Korean peninsula. This is something he’s discussed in private, his friend Kim Jong Un wants it, he wants it, and after being reelected, nothing will stop him.
Number 46. He’s destroyed the careers and reputations of anyone whom he’s deemed threatening. He’s gone after career professionals who were merely doing their jobs.
Number 47. Narcissism.
Number 48. He’s mocked the handicapped.
Number 49. Culture of cruelty. He’s made it fashionable to be an asshole. For Republicans, cruelty is humor. It’s also the point.
Number 50. Baby jails. That motherfucker. He made it a policy to rip families apart. He made it a policy to send children to court by themselves. His policies have lead to the death of children. After this, why are we even talking about reelecting this guy? Even his sister criticized this.
Number 51. He’s barely literate. When you hear him read from a teleprompter, it’s like you’re back in third grade listening to the illiterate kids read aloud.
Number 52. He refuses to read. Do you know why he has a hard time reading? Because he’s never read. He probably hasn’t even read his own book.
Number 53. Two Corinthians. You think he’s religious? Ha! He’s the only guy who has ever had to teargas people so he could go to church.
Number 54. He teargassed people so he could go to church. But, he didn’t go inside the church. He just needed to pose in front of it with an upside down Bible for a photo-op.
Number 55. Tariffs. He’s hurt America’s farmers with his stupid tariffs on China. He bailed out farmers with money he borrowed from China to conduct a tariff with China.
Number 57. Tax cuts for billionaire a–holes. Donald Trump is a billionaire asshole. He gave himself a tax cut. That’s been his only policy priority.
Number 58. Debt. He’s added a trillion dollars to the national debt. Aren’t Republicans supposed to be against debt?
Number 59. Reopening schools. He’s willing to kill you, your kids, and your grandparents for his reelection.
Number 60. Banning flights from China. He did not ban flights from China. He banned Chinese from flying from China. He didn’t ban Americans from flying to the U.S. from China. The virus, unlike Donald Trump, is not racist. It can’t tell or care about the difference American citizens and Chinese citizens.
Number 61. His initial ban of flights from Europe excluded places with Trump resorts. He’s corrupt.
Number 62. He feuds with people a president shouldn’t be feuding with. He should be too busy to feud with a dead guy.
Number 63. Twitter. I wouldn’t date someone who tweeted as much as Donald Trump less enough want to vote for them to be president.
Number 64. He’s embraced quack medicine in order to push reopening the country…and for his own ego. He doesn’t care if people die from his horrible medical advice.
Number 65. He’s proposed drinking bleach to cure the coronavirus.
Number 66. He’s accused the FDA of being a part of the “deep state” and withholding a coronavirus vaccine in order to hurt him politically.
Number 67. The MyPillow guy. Trump’s embraced too many lunatics.
Number 68. He got sued by children. No, not migrant children. White girls known as the USA Freedom Kids who danced and sang at his 2016 rallies. They sued him because he lied about future appearances. Nobody comes out and supports a goon like Donald Trump for free. But when children sue you, you suck.
Number 69. Covfefe. We still don’t know what this is. We understand “Yo Semite” and “Thighland” came from his inability to read, but what the hell was “covfefe” about.
Number 70. The Trump cult. How bad is the cult? On August 23, a poll was released stating that said 57% of Republicans believed over 170,000 deaths was “acceptable.” The quicker we get rid of Trump the sooner these goons die out or fade away. We need a president who is supported because of his policies, not because of a cult of personality. The people who support Donald Trump only do so because they hate the same people as he does.
Number 71. Golf. Do you remember him criticizing President Obama playing golf and that he himself wouldn’t have time? Yeah. As of this date, Donald Trump has spent over $140 million of our money at his resorts.
Number 72. Trump University. It was a huge scam. Remember when he said he would never settle those lawsuits? He settled.
Number 73. The Trump Foundation. Remember when Republicans kept saying the Clinton Foundation was corrupt? The Clinton Foundation is still going strong while the Trump Foundation was disbanded by a court order and Donald Trump and his kids were banned from participating in any charities in the state of New York.
Number 74. On the note of Trump’s charities, he stole from charity. He used the Trump charity to purchase gifts for himself.
Number 75. He used his charity as a campaign tool.
Number 76. He claimed during his 2016 campaign that an event was a charitable one for veterans yet they had to chase him down for the money. He’s a grifter.
Number 77. Wrestling. We should never have a president who has ever been involved with professional wrestling unless it’s Dwayne Johnson. I’d probably vote for Dwayne Johnson for Moana alone. You’re welcome!
Number 78. Dogs. He hates dogs. That’s a disqualifier. What kind of a person doesn’t like dogs? Joe Biden and his wife Jill have adopted a rescue dog. The dog’s name is Major. Donald Trump would never do something like that. Donald Trump would never express care or love for another creature. Donald Trump would kick a dog before he’d help one.
Number 79. He puts ketchup on burned steaks.
Number 80. Hamburgers and hot dogs. He eats like a child at a birthday party. He’s 74. There’s nothing wrong with hamburgers and hot dogs…but it shouldn’t be a daily thing for a 74-year-old president (sic).
Number 81. He still claims he has products that he doesn’t. He claims there are Trump Steaks, Trump Wine, Trump Water, etc. He doesn’t actually have this shit. He once had Trump Steaks at a campaign event where he bought steaks from a supermarket and slapped Trump stickers on them. He probably burned them all afterward and put ketchup on ’em.
Number 82. He’s against mail-in voting unless he’s doing it or it’s in a Republican-run state.
Number 83. Stairs and rain. He’s afraid of stairs and rain. If there’s something presidential he needs to do that requires stairs to get to, or is in the rain, he’s not doing it.
Number 84. Umbrellas. He’ll hold an umbrella over his head but not his wife’s. A lout like that should not be president.
Number 85. He once stole a golf ball from a child. Shockingly, it wasn’t a migrant child…or one he was watching change clothes.
Number 86. The ass kissing. Anyone who requires that much ass kissing shouldn’t be in charge of anything. Everyone speaking at an event with Donald Trump has to refer to his “leadership.” Mike Pence probably mumbles the word in his sleep and will require surgery to get the brown off his nose.
Number 87. The inability to govern. The guy can’t manage.
Number 88. As someone else once said, Donald Trump doesn’t know what it is not to know. He doesn’t have any intellectual curiosity. He’s probably the most world-traveled individual without any intellectual understanding or culture.
Number 89. Puerto Rico. How many people died from Hurricane Maria? Don’t ask Donald Trump. He will lie to you. Then, he’ll insult the victims. Why are we still talking about reelecting Donald Trump?
Number 90. Weather maps. He changed a weather map with a Sharpie because of his insecure ego. He even ordered the National Weather Service to lie about the weather.
Number 91. He lied about the weather before that. He often talks about how the skies parted and the rain stopped for his inauguration speech, which would have been a good thing as Melania wouldn’t have been drenched because asshole’s not going to hold an umbrella over her head. It kept raining. How brazen of a liar do you have to be to lie about something on tape?
Number 92. Michigan’s man of the year. There’s no proof of this, yet he keeps saying he was.
Number 93. New Jersey Muslims celebrating 9/11. He swears he saw this on TV yet nobody has ever seen it.
Number 94. He claimed from Trump Tower on 5th Avenue that he could see people jumping to their deaths from the World Trade Center on 9/11. If you’ve been to Trump Tower and to the World Trade Center site, you would know this is impossible.
Number 95. He bragged about his building being the tallest in New York City after the World Trade Center was knocked down. Of course, that wasn’t true but it shows how callous he is.
Number 96. He claims he was on the World Trade Center site helping and that he sent others to help on his dime. None of this is true.
Number 97. He’s a child. He’s not mature enough to be president. He acts like every day is his birthday party and he’s demanding the most cake. In fact, he demands the most cake. He even has the White House kitchen serve his guests fewer scoops of ice cream than he gets. This is a fact. Fact, fact, fuckity fact, fact.
Number 98. He once shoved a president of another nation out of his way for a photo-op. This is embarrassing for the United States. And that president is still trying to get that Trump funk off him.
Number 99. World leaders are laughing at us. Literally. Donald Trump claimed he would restore respect for our nation, which we knew hadn’t left, but is gone now. Foreign leaders literally laugh at us. Several were caught on hot mics making fun of Donald Trump at a summit.
Number 100. He’s not just divisive. His entire agenda is to be divisive. Republicans claimed President Obama was the most divisive president in our history, yet they’re quiet on the subject with Donald Trump.
Number 101. Donald Trump ignores scientist while listening to nuts like Dr. Demon Sperm and the MyPillow guy.
Number 102. TikTok. He wants to ban TikTok because teenagers used it to drive up ticket requests for his Tulsa rally, embarrassing him when nobody showed up, and also because Sarah Cooper embarrasses him on it with her lip-syncing his own words against him. It’s hilarious. Sarah Cooper, marry me.
Number 103. Trump rallies. He never stopped campaigning. Even between the election and inauguration, he continued to hold rallies. This guy is on a self-promotion tour rather than working as president. How much do you want to bet we continue to see MAGA rallies after election day?
Number 104. He holds rallies during the pandemic. And, he holds them in a coronavirus hot spot. He knew this before the rallies. And now there have been university studies proving coronavirus cases have spiked in areas he has visited. Donald Trump is literally a health crises.
Number 105. He killed Herman Cain. How? He held a rally during a pandemic. Herman Cain attended. Herman Cain is dead.
Number 106. He sleeps with porn stars.
Number 107. According to the porn star, his penis is short, stubby, and looks like Toad, the mushroom character from Mario Kart. Is that disqualifying? Let’s say it is.
Number 108. Morals. He doesn’t have any. Don’t believe me? Ask his sister.
Number 109. He was dumb enough to talk to an ambassador, who was in Kiev, Ukraine, and on a cell phone. From a national security position, this was exceptionally stupid. So stupid, it should have won an award in stupidity. It’s something you would do if you want Russia to listen in. But then again, he’s the man who said, “Russia…if you’re listening…” They are and he’s making it easy for them.
Number 110. He didn’t just give away national security secrets to Russia. He gave away classified information provided to us by an ally. Now, allies have actually stated that they’re not going to share with us anymore, or at least be much more hesitant in doing so because they can’t trust the president (sic) of the United States.
Number 111. The world has no faith in the United States while Donald Trump is president. The British ambassador to the United States, who’s required by his government to be honest with his judgement, sent cables to the British Foreign Ministry describing Trump and his White House as “dysfunctional” and “inept.”
Number 112. He’s ordered staffers to watch Lou Dobbs on Fox News and do what he says. He literally wants his staff to take their marching orders from Lou Dobbs. In case you have never watched Lou Dobbs, he’s a racist idiot.
Number 113. He’s lead by the nose by Fox News. He talks to Sean Hannity on a nightly basis. He’s too close to Tucker Carlson. These are Trump advocates disguised as journalists. Together, they spread lies and conspiracy theories. This is tearing the nation apart and contributes to the divisiveness and the president (sic) has them on speed dial.
Number 114. Terrorists love him. He’s mentioned in all their manifestos.
Number 115. He hires the worst people. He truly does. This guy hired Omarosa to work in the White House. What experience did she have?
Number 116. He teargassed a crowd to stage a photo-op in front of a church. Why are we talking about reelecting him?
Number 117. He sent unidentified goons into cities to provoke riots and incarcerate people without cause.
Number 118. He ran on a message that America is NOT great.
Number 119. He would rather take the time to scream at black athletes than do any presidenting.
Number 120. Goya beans. He f—ed Goya for everyone. Now, only right-wingers can enjoy it and they’re going to enjoy it. By the way, none of them has bought a can of beans since that first week of this outrage, if ever.
Number 121. He creates crisis. Then, when the crisis is resolved, he wants to be given credit for cleaning up the shit (that someone else usually has to clean up) he shat.
Number 122. He feuded with a child. He tweeted attacks against climate change advocate Greta Thunberg. She’s a child. If she had a golf ball, he’d steal it. Has he barged in on her while she was changing clothes yet?
Number 123. He thinks NATO is paying us protection money. This is a serious flaw. A president should understand this.
Number 124. He’ll pull us out of NATO. Putin wants it. He doesn’t care and has talked about it. Did I already list this one? That’s OK. It’s worth a repeat.
Number 125. He may start a new military alliance with Russia. This is not a good thing. It’s like in Lion King when Scar became king and formed an alliance with the hyenas. Expect similar laughter.
Number 126. He wanted to trade Puerto Rico for Greenland. Doesn’t he know Greenland would never fit in the Caribbean? Sheesh.
Number 127. We’ll never have Canadian cheese again. He officially made Canadian cheese a national security threat. No, I don’t think I have ever had Canadian cheese, but I sure wouldn’t want the opportunity taken away from me.
Number 128. The wall. Let’s put the racist crap aside for a second though it’s really really very extremely racist. The wall is a huge waste of money. Since most people in this nation illegally entered legally, and not by tromping through the desert, and most drugs, cash, and weapons entered through legal checkpoints, a wall along our southern border is an extremely stupid and expensive idea. Also, it’s really racist. Did I mention it’s racist? It’s racist.
Number 129. Poor Melania. Four more years will delay her future divorce from Donald Trump. Think of Melania.
Number 130. Think of Donald Trump’s supporters, his cult, the sycophants. If Trump loses, you will get to say, “ha-ha” in each one of their smug racist faces.
Number 131. You’ll also get to say “ha-ha” to each of those Trump kids. I highly encourage you to tweet it to Jr.
Number 132. That includes Jared. In the past few days, Jared has made this prospect more delicious.
Number 133. If Donald Trump loses, he’s probably going to jail.
Number 134. If he’s reelected, alligators have a slimmer chance of eating him while he’s playing golf because the Secret Service will be there. Sure, he’ll have Secret Service protection as a former president (sic), but the numbers are smaller and they won’t pay that much attention. Hell, they’ll probably lose Eric in an airport. Think of the alligators. Reject Trump.
Number 135. Donald Trump will dismantle democracy.
Number 136. Donald Trump will destroy our justice system.
Number 137. Nominating more a–holes judges will be part of destroying the justice system.
Number 138. He’s destroying the environment which he thinks is a hoax created by China. If Trump is reelected, the entire country will look like Texas, where they got rid of the environment.
Number 139. Goodbye to the Post Office.
Number 140. Goodbye Social Security.
Number 141. Goodbye, Medicare.
Number 142. The judges. If some uptight selfish leftist, like Ted Rall who is paid by Russia, tells you there’s no difference between Donald Trump and Joe Biden, ask them if there’s a difference between Brett Kavanaugh and Sonia Sotomayer. Ask them if there’s a difference between Neil Gorsuch and Elena Kagen. Then, kick them in their leftist goober.
Number 143. Pardons. He’s used them politically. He pardoned a guy during his convention and he told an Arizona crowd at one of his hate rallies he would pardon Joe Arpaio, the racist sheriff. He’s also used his pardon powers to commute the sentence of his goon Roger Stone in order to protect himself. After the election, expect more pardons for goons. He’s even pardoned contestants, like Rod Bagojevich, on his fake reality show, The Apprentice.
Number 144. Iran. Pulling us from the Iran Treaty has made them more dangerous. It has made it easier for Iran to pursue a nuclear weapon. Meanwhile, that treaty with North Korea doesn’t stipulate anything.
Number 145. Kurds. He betrayed them and broke an American promise. On top of that, thousands of them have died and are now refugees because of his actions.
Number 146. The GOP platform in 2020 is solely about worshiping Trump. You think this is going to get any better if he wins?
Number 147. Speaking of worship and nepotism, seven of the speakers at this year’s Republican convention were named Trump…and one that wasn’t is dating a Trump. This is some real North Korean shit, people.
Number 148. Emoluments. I’ve talked about his corruption and this is where it starts. for the presidency.
Number 149. We still don’t know what happened to all the money donated to his inauguration. It was the most expensive inauguration ever and the highlights were a musical performance by Three Doors Down and a parade of…tractors. Then, I heard after the performance, he barged in on the tractors dressing room to see them naked.
Number 150. Security clearances. He hands them out like candy.
Number 151. Moats. He seriously proposed moats on the border.
Number 152. He proposed having immigrants shot in their legs.
Number 153. Shooting immigrants in the legs is an example of Trump’s empathy because it’s not killing them.
Number 154. William Barr and the Justice Department. He has made the Justice Department the Department of Defending Donald Trump.
Number 155. Grudges. Donald Trump has threatened to withhold funding from states and cities with whom he holds personal grudges with. He’s threatened “Democrat-run” cities over being sanctuary cities. He’s threatened to hold back funding for California to fight wildfires. He’s threatened to withhold aid from “mismanaged” cities and states during the pandemic unless their governors and mayors groveled more and thanked him appropriately.
Number 156. Jared Kushner wanted to use the pandemic for political gain, believing it would only hit liberal states. Trump went along with this. He also talked about forcing the governors to do all the work, like testing, blaming them if it didn’t work, then having Trump “own” the reopening.
Number 157. He didn’t want any veterans at his parade who were missing limbs. He said people didn’t want to see that.
Number 158. E. Jean Carrol. Just one of his many victims. She claims he raped her. Remember when Republicans were against rape?
Number 159. His own people tell you not to vote for him.
Number 160. Trump admitted to Bob Woodward he likes dictators more than democratically-elected presidents.
Number 161. His favorite president is Andrew Jackson, a racist. Sure, a lot of presidents were racist back in the olden days, but not all of them had Native Americans murdered.
Number 162. Trump’s health. It’s bad. We honestly know as much about his health as we do about his taxes.
Number 163. He’s arguing he deserves a third term based upon his conspiracy theory “they spied on my campaign.” This is another sign he’s planning to be a dictator. Did I already mention this? It’s another worth two entries.
Number 164. He’s planning to be a dictator. He says spying on his campaign is “treason.” First off, it’s not treason and nobody spied on his campaign. But, even if they did, he wasn’t president yet and even if he was, it wouldn’t be treason. So the reason not to vote for him here is that he believes any slight toward him is treason. He wants to be a dictator and maybe already thinks he is. He’s already said he likes them.
Number 165. He doesn’t know the definition of treason. But, asking Russia to help you with your campaign is probably a lot closer to treason than an imaginary wiretapping of your hideous tower.
Number 167. Mike Pence. Seriously. At some point, that last Big Mac and bucket of KFC is going to be one Big Mac/Bucket too many and kerplunk!.. President Pence. As bad as Trump is, I don’t want to find out if an ass-kissing, radical, wingnut, fucknut fundamentalist with serious mommy issues is a worst president than Mango Mussolini.
Number 168. His Don Corleone impression. You know that low whisper thing he does at times. Seriously, what’s up with that? Is he trying to remind us he’s a third-rate mobster?
Number 169. He’s manipulating medical information to suit his reelection. A president shouldn’t be willing to kill Americans to be reelected.
Number 170. He stopped a program to mail face masks to every American in the nation. A president shouldn’t be TRYING to kill Americans to be reelected.
Number 171. the peace deal between Israel, UAE, Bahrain, and Sudan. No, I’m not against a peace deal. I’m against us not knowing what’s in it. Can you tell me what’s in this peace deal between nations that have never been at war? You can’t because you haven’t seen it.
Number 172. He’s old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Biden is four-years older, but you don’t see Joe Biden needing two hands to hold a cup of water, unable to bend or turn his neck, and manage a ramp like it’s baby’s first steps. Also, Donald Trump tells us he’s younger. Since everything he says is a lie, this man is barely being held together.
Number 173. Budget. There’s this myth that Republicans are good at budgeting. Since when? Ike? It’s kinda like that myth they’re good with the economy and foreign relations.
Number 174. He took his kids to a Jeffrey Epstein party. Taking children to a pedo party is disqualifying.
Number 175. He’s trying to block history courses that teach about slavery while he’s trying to save Confederate monuments. We need a president of the United States, not the Confederate States.
Number 176. He prevented Harriett Tubman from being on the $20 bill to preserve the face of his favorite racist president, Andrew Jackson.
Number 177. The Supreme Court. Neil Gorush, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett. How many more do you want to give him?
Number 178. The lower courts. He’s appointed over 200 judges, some of them unable to even tie their own legal sneakers. How many more do you want to give him?
Number 179. He doesn’t pay his taxes…and he cheats on his taxes.
Number 180. He plays less in income taxes than you do.
Number 181. He caught the virus. Is there anything more symbolic of being unable to contain the pandemic nationally than Donald Trump catching it himself?
Number 182. He will fire Dr. Anthony Fauci after the election.
Number 183. Jamal Keshhoggi. He was a Saudi journalist working for The Washington Post and under American protection. The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia had him murdered and chopped up with a bone saw. Jared is still texting the Crown Prince. Donald Trump worked to sweep it under the rug.
Number 184. Puerto Rico. Instead of helping Puerto Rico after a hurricane, he lied about the number of deaths, feuded with the mayor of San Juan, threw paper towels at people, and withheld relief aid. Then, he tried to trade it for Greenland.
Number 185. Wildfires. He doesn’t understand them. He blames the states while most of the fires are on federal land. He withholds funding to help “liberal” states. He claims the forests only need to be raked.
Number 186. Climate agreement. He pulled us out of a climate agreement. Climate change is a greater threat to this nation than immigration.
Number 187. Steve Bannon. He literally put the head of Breitbart into the White House. Breitbart is an online home for fake news, division, and racism. They literally have a “black crime” category on their site.
Number 188. Proud Boys. This is a hate group and not a Cher fan club. Donald Trump told them to “stand by” during the election.
Number 189. Voter intimidation. He’s telling his people to be “poll watchers” and to harass voters.
Number 190. His refusal to peaceful transfer of power. This is serious.
Number 191. He’s recruiting terrorists. Back up to that Proud Boys thing. But he also praised Kyle Rittenhouse, a minor, for going over a state line to shoot and murder protesters.
Number 192. WINNING! They keep saying this. After the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett and the stealing of ANOTHER Supreme Court seat, the troglodytes were all over social media posting, “WINNING.” On Election Day, let’s give them some LOSING!
Number 193. Fake news. There is no such thing as fake news. Donald Trump has positioned himself to his supporters as the arbiter of truth. Any actual facts are deemed bad and evil. Anything that criticizes Trump will soon be treason. He has said he wants to change the laws of a free press. He wants to abolish freedom of speech. This is a totalitarian-wannabe.
Number 194. “Are you ready for some tough questions?” This question from 60 Minutes Lesley Stahl greatly upset him. He eventually walked out of the interview.
Number 195. He charged us for water. At his resorts, he charges us for him to feed himself. He charges the Secret Secret service to protect him. He charges us to give rooms to his staff. He doesn’t give discounts. He charges us for him to sleep in his own bed. This is a grifter. He is President (sic) Grifter.
Number 196. He was spanked by a porn star with a magazine featuring his daughter on the cover. Which daughter? Does it matter?
Number 197. He held a convention on the lawn of the White House. This isn’t just improper, it’s illegal. He also had government employees campaign for him. He had fireworks spell his name over the National Mall. He has the White House Spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany, working for his campaign while she’s also being paid by us.
Number 198. The low bar. The new normal is that we let him get away with stuff we’d never let other politicians get away with. We wouldn’t hire someone like Donald Trump for any job other than president. We don’t even expect him to read good (I did that on purpose).
Number 199. He is destroying culture. Talk about cancel culture? These people freaked out over the prospect of there being taco trucks on every corner. If the Trump universe has its way, foreign culture in our beautiful melting pot will be eradicated. All Chinese food will taste like Panda Express.
Number 200. When you donate to his campaign, a lot of the money goes to his resorts, thus…a lot of the money goes to Donald Trump. The campaign actually paid over $100,000 to purchase copies of Trump Jr’s book so it’d make the Best Seller list. This is corrupt.
Number 201. Hunter Biden. Hunter Biden is NOT running for president.
Number 202. MAGA. What the f–k is MAGA? What is “Make America Great Again?” What exactly do they have in mind that’ll be “great again?” Psst… spoiler alert: It’s racism.
Number 203. Every time I write President (sic) Trump, I have to include “sic.” That’s because he’s not our president. He’s only president to a racist base of stupid fucks. He’s an illegitimate president who was placed in power by Russia. So, he does not deserve to be president. He does not deserve to have the title, “Mr. President.” I would like to be able to say and type “president” without having to include “sic.”
Number 204. I almost forgot. He was impeached.
Number 205. There are actually signs in the nation’s capital at this very moment designating free speech zones and firearms are not allowed. What other nations have to do this?
Number 206. He said doctors make money by lying about covid deaths. This is disqualifying.
Number 207. He doesn’t actually care about “his” people. He said the pandemic is good because it’ll help him avoid shaking their hands. He also left them out in the cold in Omaha after one of his hate rallies last week. The buses were late. He was on Air Force One with his bucket.
Number 208. With everything he’s done to mismanage the virus and make it worse, perhaps the most disqualifying thing is his withholding how dangerous it was from the American people. He knew it was an airborne contagion while telling us it was nothing. He lied, Americans died. Why are we even having a discussion about him remaining president?
Number 209. The future. What will a future Trump administration turn this nation into? The United States of Trump? Will the other two branches be branches in name only? Will Trump have full control of the courts? Will the Justice Department become the Department of Vengeance? Will we bail on South Korea and give the entire peninsula to Kim Jong Un? Will we bail on NATO and create a new alliance with Russia? Will we still have elections? Will we still have a free press? Will Donald Trump install himself as “president” for life? Let’s not vote for a dystopian future.
Number 210. Too much work for cartoonists. Seriously. I need to get some sleep. Do you know how many times I’ve had to change direction in the middle of the day because of multiple outrages? Do you know how many half-drawn cartoons I have? A lot.
Number 211. Donald Trump does not want to be our president. Seriously. He only wants to be president for those who worship him. A president is supposed to be president for all, even for those who didn’t vote for him. Donald Trump is NOT my president and he doesn’t want to be.
Finally, to sum up, Donald Trump probably isn’t even human. He’s more a collection of bad personality traits. In fact, he’s the only president who has ever had to prove in a court of law that he wasn’t the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan. I’m sure over the next two days, Donald Trump will give us more reasons why we shouldn’t vote for him.
Email Clay Jones at [email protected]