There’s nothing equal.
Not supposed to happen this way. The children bury their parents, dont they?
No parent ought to have to bury their child.
That’s what we humans think of as the natural order. But sometimes, it’s just not meant to be.
This is a picture of Big Russ, Tim’s dad whom he wrote a book about, Big Russ and Me. On the left is Tim’s son Luke, who just graduated from Boston College.
Often people say they don’t know what to say to those in mourning when a sudden tragedy has taken place. I’d offer that words are not the most important at first, no matter how eloquent, no matter how brave, how polite. But something else is.
I can only humbly offer that being there inside the hell of losing a precious son in our own family, that for Big Russ, for any father this Father’s Day who has had to bury a beloved son… many people will say many things to you, write many things to you, but … and… the kindness of people is what will truly stay with you,.
Others’ words may register later or never, much will be a blur now… but kindnesses from others to you will remain seared into your cells forever… kindness being one of the only things that can reach down into the dark where you yourself walk as though dead too for now. Hold onto that, along with all else that has any light at all to it.
___________
CODA
tx HR for link
This is the link to Compassionate Friends, a national non-profit that many have found helpful. They offer friendship, understanding, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings.