January 6, 2017

Note to readers: This is the latest entry in Super Baby DonDon’s diary. The series imagines that President-elect Donald Trump has the emotional make-up of a five-year-old and confides his deepest thoughts—such as they are—to Andrew Feinberg, and to readers, every day. In his private moments, he always thinks of himself as Super Baby DonDon.

So the Washington Post reports that two contractors have filed liens on my beautiful Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C., which is filled to capacity with foreign businessmen and diplomats seeking favors from me in exchange for their patronage. (Love it, just love it.) The contractors say I stiffed them.

Is this even a story? Is it news? Especially on a day when the leaders of the nation’s intelligence agencies have all come to Trump Tower? (I’m amazed these losers could find it.)

Hey, Super Baby DonDon likes stiffing people. It’s a hobby. I particularly like driving small entrepreneurs into bankruptcy. Why?

Because I can. It’s fun.

Before I was elected your LEADER, I stiffed people so I’d have more money to buy pushup bras and stiletto heels for Melania and the delectable Ivanka. But now I’ll be stiffing companies on your behalf. Boeing. Lockheed Martin. Anyone and everyone.

My stiffing addiction will now help you.

But tell me, are any of you people plumbers? I’ve got a project I want to put out for competitive bidding. How’s $0? Is $0 good for you?

Just think of the prestige. Work for me and you will have been stiffed by the best. And I’ll be forever in your debt.

Sort of.

Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven (https://www.amazon.com/Four-Score-Seven-Andrew-Feinberg/dp/0692664009), a novel that imagines that Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. He also writes an anti-Trump humor page at www.babydondon.com or https://www.facebook.com/MeBabyDonDon.

Andrew Feinberg
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