Gonna Turn this Witch Hunt into a Bitch Hunt
January 8, 2017
Note to readers: This is the latest entry in Super Baby DonDon’s diary. The series imagines that President-elect Donald Trump has the emotional make-up of a five-year-old and confides his deepest thoughts—such as they are—to Andrew Feinberg, and to readers, every day. In his private moments, he always thinks of himself as Super Baby DonDon.
As I told the New York Times, all this focus on Russian hacking of my glorious landslide election is nothing more than a “political witch hunt.” It’s like the witch hunts they used to have in Winston-Salem, Massachusetts. It’s bad.
Instead of witch hunts, we should have bitch hunts, like we had during the election when I schlonged Hillary Clinton. Man, I miss those “Lock her up!” chants. Gonna spend my first hundred days looking for “nasty” women to demonize. My new fight song: Elton John’s “The Bitch is Back.”
One more thing: I don’t think becoming Super Baby DonDon was enough of a promotion. From now on it’s Exalted Super Baby DonDon, Supreme Glorious Leader. Or is Exalted Super Baby DonDon, Glorious Supreme Leader better?
OK, for now it’s Exalted Super Baby DonDon. Seems a bit skimpy, though.
Whatever. You will bow down.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven (https://www.amazon.com/Four-Score-Seven-Andrew-Feinberg/dp/0692664009), a novel that imagines that Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. He also writes an anti-Trump humor page at www.babydondon.com or https://www.facebook.com/MeBabyDonDon.