By Laurie Baron
Before going to Europe, President Biden summoned key Democrats to play poker in the hope it would pave the way for a resolution of their stalemate on his Build Back Better Plan.
Biden: Before we begin, I’m imposing only one rule. No talking politics.
Pelosi: I refuse to play unless I know beforehand that I’ll win.
Biden: We’ll all be winners. Who has the deck so we can start playing?
Manchin: You should know by now that I hold all the cards.
Biden: Time to ante up. This is going to be a high stakes game.
Sinema: I’m not putting a lot of money into the pot.
Sanders: I’d prefer to play with bigger bills rather than pennies to make things worthwhile. Richer members of this group should ante up more than those from working class backgrounds.
Biden: Krysten, you can take off your mask. Consider us a pod.
Sinema: I wear my mask so nobody can figure out what I’m feeling or thinking.
Biden: Let me deal. I’m a more artful dealer than the last president.
He deals the cards. Manchin wins the first game with a full house.
Jayapal: I hope you realize that to afford a house full of kids in real life, most people need a child tax credit, subsidized childcare and preschool, and reasonably priced housing.
Manchin: And cheap coal, natural gas, and oil to heat it! None of this tilting at windmills.
Pelosi: Remember Joe’s rule. Let’s clean up this energy talk.
Jayapal: How about some small talk instead. I’ve heard you’re bisexual. Does that mean you also don’t believe in binary political parties?
Manchin: Can we take a vote on this line of conversation? If 3 of us don’t like where it is heading, they should be able to veto it from happening.
Sinema: I concur. I’m dropping out of the game. Joe, pick up your chips and let’s leave.
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via [email protected]. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally. This is republished from San Diego Jewish World which, along with The Moderate Voice, is a member of the San Diego Online News Association.