I didn’t know what I was going to draw this morning and sat at my drawing table with my iPad open while I considered my options. I had already created and dated the canvas I was going to draw on in Procreate, but I just didn’t have the idea yet. I considered using an idea I wrote last week for CNN, which I really like, but thought maybe a few other issues should take precedence, like the war in Ukraine. Of course, my TV was on during this.

My TV was on mute and saw a live feed of a podium sitting outside 10 downing street with “Breaking News: Liz Truss to address nation,” or something like that. I thought to myself, “What does she have to say?” I turned my head from the TV to look at the empty canvas again because that always works to inspire an idea (sarcasm), and when I looked back, a new breaking news headline was on the TV. LIZ TRUSS RESIGNS.

United Kingdom Prime Minister Liz Truss gave her resignation speech and I missed it. How long was I staring at that blank canvas? Not long. I blinked and I missed it.

Liz Truss was PM for 45 days. She was elected by the Conservative Party, not the voters of the UK. It’s kinda like here in the USA with the Supreme Court. One party picks a horrible fundamentalist nut zealot who the majority of the nation truly despises to sit on the highest court in the land for the rest of his or her life. At least the UK can fire their PM. We are stuck with SCOTUS judges for 30 years or so.

During her time as PM, she oversaw the tanking of the UK economy and made moves that derailed the nation’s stock market. She was a total disaster. Even the Queen died during her term. I know Liz Truss didn’t kill the Queen, but Elizabeth II waited 96 years for Liz Truss to take over before she died.

In the speech that I barely missed, Truss said she could “no longer deliver the mandate” upon which she had set out her stall, and spoke to King Charles III before resigning.

What mandate? The Conservative Party mandate? She won the slimmest majority from her own party to win the leadership position, which represents just 0.4 percent of the 47 million eligible UK voters. One problem with conservatives, in the UK and USA, is that they think 0.4 percent is a mandate. This is some real Mitch McConnell shit here.

Right now, a head of lettuce would probably win a larger “mandate” than Liz Truss.

The Daily Star, a right-leaning UK tabloid, bought a head of lettuce. With an average lifespan of ten days, the lettuce was placed against Liz Truss on the Star’s front page on October 14 in a competition to see which would last longer. It’s been six days. The lettuce won. In fact, the lettuce still has about four days left. You can still make a BLT with it which is more useful and purposeful than Liz Truss’s tenure as UK Prime Minister. Maybe we should throw some croutons at Truss and see what she can do with them. Personally, I find croutons useless, so they’d be perfect with Liz Truss.

Liz Truss will be replaced once again by the Tories in about a week. Just 45 days ago, they thought Liz Truss was their best option. Looking at who they have to pick from in the Conservative Party, the United Kingdom might be better if they go with the head of lettuce.

Oh, hey. Can we replace Brett Kavanaugh, Neil Gorsuch, Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, and Amy Coney Barrett with heads of lettuce? Lettuce is less zealotry.
A 22402.

Visit Clay Jones’ website and email him at [email protected].