Here’s a cross section of Herman Cain jokes done on TV by late night comedians (culled from various posts on the web):
“Two women have accused Herman Cain of sexually suggestive behavior in the ’90s. He said no. He was just explaining to them his 69-9-9 plan.” –Jay Leno
“Herman Cain is having to respond to charges he once sexually harassed women. One German woman kept saying, ‘Nein! Nein! Nein!'” –Conan O’Brien
“When Herman Cain was in charge of the National Restaurant Association, there were allegations of sexual harassment. They have revealed one came from Sara Lee.” –David Letterman
“Herman Cain is the first candidate this year to use the word ‘consensual.'” –David Letterman
“Herman Cain was accused of sexually harassing two women in the ’90s. Which explains his new campaign slogan, ‘did somebody order a pizza with extra sausage?’” — Jimmy Fallon
“A Fox reporter asked Herman Cain if he’d ever had to pay anyone money to settle a sexual harassment claim. Herman Cain: ‘Outside of the Restaurant Association, absolutely not.'” –Jon Stewart
And then there are the instant classic Tweets of Andy Borowitz. Here are a few:
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
I suspect that Herman Cain would stop running for President if someone let him run a Hooters.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
I have decided I would rather have Herman Cain sexually harass me than govern me.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
This Sunday, Herman Cain reminds everyone to set their clocks back 400 years.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Herman Cain is qualified to be President in the way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
I am less worried about Herman Cain’s sexual behavior than the fact he has never heard of Afghanistan.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
I would not trust Herman Cain to run a pizza place. Oh, wait.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
A sexual harasser has no business being President of the United States. He should be Prime Minister of Italy.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Poll: Majority of Likely Voters Say They Were Sexually Harassed by Cain: bit.ly/rOXGoiBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
BREAKING: Herman Cain’s Sex Life ‘His Own Business,’ Says BerlusconiBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Herman Cain’s sex scandal is actually the first sign that he might be qualified to be a politician: bit.ly/vAiBSIBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
I had a bad feeling about Herman Cain ever since I found out his campaign slogan was, “You know you want it.”BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Let’s not let Cain’s sex scandal take attention away from his terrible ideas.BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Rick Perry: If Cain is Innocent, He Should be Executed: bit.ly/tweJNYBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Amid sex allegations, Herman Cain huddles with top advisors, Papa John and Little Caesar: bit.ly/tweJNYBorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
BREAKING: Despite Allegations, Morons Sticking By Cain
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.