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Posted by on Jun 5, 2012 in Arts & Entertainment, At TMV, Politics, Satire | 13 comments

America’s Next Step On The Road To Moolacracy

Thought privatization couldn’t be taken to more idiotic heights in this country? Thought that money couldn’t play an even larger role in our national political circus? Read on.

Two senators, Tom Coburn (a Republican) and Mark Udall (a Democrat) have introduced a bill that would have their parties’ national conventions paid for with private money, rather than the public funding that now does the job. And where, one might ask, might such a change lead? The answers are currently right before our eyes.

Tune into a baseball game on TV. Watch when a fly ball is hit to the outfield. Right behind the outfielder you’ll see along the entire run of bleachers advertisements for various products. Would there be similar bleacher ads in the halls where Republicans and Democrats hold their conventions? Of course. You gotta pay the rent on the hall, right?

The Olympics help with their own funding by having “official” products of one sort or another. Like the official rye bread of the summer games. Or the official ear wax of the winter games. Might we have in the future an official computer of a Democratic convention? An official soft drink of a Republican convention? Who but a socialist would think otherwise, or believe this wouldn’t be another demonstration of American political exceptionalism?

Once this bipartisan initiative gets approved and in full gear, ad banners on balconies and official sponsorships of certain products would doubtless be just starters on this leap into political party free enterprise. I’m thinking the NASCAR model here. Not just an Obama pin on one lapel and an Apple badge on the other, or Romney on one lapel and Coca-Cola on the other (or vice-versa). I’m thinking entire delegate body suits covered with ads. And maybe when the party candidate him- or herself comes forth to accept the nomination, this worthy might we wearing a robe with a meat market ad on the back like the one provided by Rocky Balboa’s soon to be brother-in-law in “Rocky One.”

A silly idea? Maybe only in thinking such an ad would be from a meat market rather than a national brand of some sort.

Let’s be honest here. Money will pick the ultimate winner of this year’s presidential election and the ones that follow. So why not in the future have money also pay for the conventions that pick these winners? It makes sense. At least in a moolacracy.