Good rule of thumb: When you’ve violated the Ten Commandments every which way from Sunday, you’re probably better off choosing a non-biblical analogy to explain why you’re not giving up your powerful public office:
When South Carolina governor Mark Sanford made his rambling, tearful admission of infidelity on Wednesday, some people felt a bit of sympathy for him. Sure, he probably had no intention of coming clean until he was caught in the act of returning from Buenos Aires — but, once he finally got around to it, his confession was relatively heartfelt and not as obviously self-serving as we’ve come to expect from straying politicians.
Of course, that was Wednesday. Given time to collect himself, Sanford’s GOP instincts for hypocrisy wrapped in sanctimony appear to have made a full recovery. Via TPM Muckraker, in the course of “apologizing” as the start of a cabinet meeting, Sanford invoked the biblical story of King David, who didn’t quit his reign over his affair with Bathsheba.
Nothing says “Republican” better than citing the Bible as an excuse for clinging selfishly to power, does it?
It gets worse. Let’s take a look at that Bible story Mark Sanford publicly identified himself with:
As King of Israel and Judea, David saw Bathsheba in the bath (he was walking on the roof at the time, goes the story) and immediately had to have her. After getting her pregnant, he tried to conceal it by ordering her husband Uriah to return from war and sleep with Bathsheba, so that the baby would be thought of as Uriah’s.
But Uriah preferred to remain at war. So David gave an order that Uriah should be abandoned in battle, ensuring his death. Then he married Bathsheba.
Well, okay. But we all know that Gov. Sanford is a deeply, devoutly religious man, right? Which means he must have read the part of the Bible about David impregnating Bathsheba, trying to deceive Uriah into thinking the baby is his, and then arranging for Uriah to be killed, right? So we have to take him at his word that King David is a role model in these matters. Anyway, that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it:
In a statement issued after the meeting, Sanford doubled down on the David analogy:
I remain committed to rebuilding the trust that has been committed to me over the next 18 months, and it is my hope that I am able to follow the example set by David in the Bible – who after his fall from grace humbly refocused on the work at hand. By doing so, I will ultimately better serve in every area of my life, and I am committed to doing so.
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