by Don Hermann
Columnist
THE LONG AND SHORT OF TRUMP’S WORLD. TRUMP TRUMPED.
Fascism is not fashionable.
Blacks are not going to be Back at the Back of the Bus.
Sweaty Palms. Minorities will soon be the majority.
Abortion laws will give birth to a new body of strength.
The Vote will be more powerful than the gun. As a blamer you will be forced to look in the mirror. It could crack.
The Left is Right.
You’re getting sick thinking about Healthcare under the Democrats.
Those bone spurs that kept you from being drafted. How are they?
You claim to have a way with women. Why do about 25 women claim you abused them sexually?
Apparently you were an academic star at Wharton. Number one in your graduating class. Very modest of you to withhold your records.
Kids play doctor when they were young. You did it as an adult. Wrote your own medical report. The AMA was impressed.
There is some confusion about Alternative Facts. Is it true that some criminals tried to use them and were convicted of perjury? Sorry. That’s an Alternative Fact.
Wouldn’t you say that you’re a highly recognized person? During September 11, you claim to have spent considerable time assisting our courageous first responders in their efforts to save as many folks as possible. No one remembers seeing you. An Executive VP of your organization claims you never went down there.
Why do you want to retire Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid?
Under you, Friends would become Enemies. Enemies Friends.
The Republicans have just received THE NO BACKBONE AWARD. A companion to THE NO GUTS AWARD.
You are very strongly opposed to illegal immigration. Shouldn’t employers who engage them be equally guilty? Obviously the law does not apply to Donald Trump. Who were those undocumented immigrants working for you?
Rumor is the Republicans are drowning in Your Swamp.
After a series of sophisticated research studies we were able to determine the reason for your lack of success in every business venture you ventured in:
Trump Air. Amelia Earhart’s fault
Trump Steaks. It was the Jews’ fault. The meat was kosher.
Trump Vodka. Alexei Navalny’s fault.
Go Trump. Lasted a year. Featured a tour of Siberia.
Trump University. A degree in screwing people’s eyeballs out. Only cost you $25 million.
The Wall at our southern border. Paid for by Mexico. They sent an Erector Set.
Killing one of the top Iranian Leaders against advice of most of our military experts. Response—Iran fired rockets into one of our air bases. About 110 of our personnel suffered brain injuries as a result. Obama is to blame?
If you and the Republicans can’t get it done, it’s Hillary’s fault.
NATO became a wall against the would be traitors of the world.
January 6 became another September 11 in the eyes of Americans.
Your slip was hanging out with the info about Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal.
Sensitivity—a major flood problem in Puerto Rico. A trip to demonstrate your concern. Provide some of the people with paper towels. Absorb that one.
Covid. Take its temperature. The thermometer said “High risk.” Major problems on the horizon.
Your diagnosis, “Nothing serious. We have it under control.” Over one million Americans died. Perhaps more people should have taken Clorox and Lysol.
In Communism, sharing is a critical ingredient. Is that why you did that very thing with our top secret classified information?
This new Bible you’re selling. Do you know how to hold it? Are you acting as Preacher? Rumor has it that you’re
focusing on subjects you’re quite familiar with. Revenge. Blame. Alternative Facts. Cheating. Sexual abuse. Anger. (For starters.) Say a prayer for the Bible. Include decency. It will probably be like most of your other business endeavors.
Apparently you can’t bank on the banks for money.
How many rubles does it take to satisfy some of your debt?
Hostility is contagious. It spreads like Covid.