I think after Jenna Ellis flipped in the Fulton County Case, and then we found out about Mark Meadows’ immunity deal and testimony with Special Counsel Jack Smith, that it’s time for the ketchup cartoon. Plus, I really like this one. I still laughed while drawing it this morning.
Ellis is the third attorney for Trump to flip on him. She was facing two charges, including Georgia’s anti-racketeering act, but pleaded down to a single felony count of aiding and abetting false statements and writings which will keep her out of prison in exchange for providing evidence that could implicate other defendants and agreeing to testify in any future trials. This means she’ll be testifying against not only Donald Trump, but against Rudy Giuliani who’s facing 13 charges in Georgia.
Ellis was a huge champion for The Big Lie that Donald Trump won the 2020 presidential election but it was stolen from him and given to Joe Biden. Yesterday, after facing the threat of serving years in a Georgia prison, she found Jesus, so to speak.
While crying, Ellis admitted that she failed to ensure the accuracy of those statements, felt “deep remorse” and no longer believed the false claims she made at press conference after press conference after press conference. Like I said yesterday about Sidney Powell, maybe she was inhaling too much of Rudy’s cheap hair dye and farts.
Ellis also said, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have declined to represent Donald Trump in these post-election challenges.” Really? If only you knew then that Trump lost the election? If only someone had said he lost and that Joe Biden had won, like maybe someone in the media, or election officials, or everyone in the nation who’s not a fucking lunatic, or maybe some humble political cartoonist with a blog…If only she could have known then what she knows now!
Ellis also blamed believing more “seasoned” attorneys. But she’s 38. She’s been a lawyer for two decades. She’s pretty fucking seasoned but even if she wasn’t, I’m sure her law classes at the University of Richmond School of Law (in case you’re a Republican, that’s in Richmond) taught her that making false statements is…what’s that word again? Oh, yeah… ILLEGAL!
Keep in mind that Ellis was a Trump critic in 2016 and said he was “insanely dangerous.” But after he won the nomination, she flipped to Trump and later said during the Trump presidency (sic) that she saw Trump as “a sincere Christian, the best president in modern history”, and as having “kept his promises to the American people,” and described herself as being “proud to stand with him and his goals for the future of [the United States] and all of its citizens.” Shortly before she flipped back, she called him a “malignant narcissist.”
Jenna Ellis, like the other lawyers, knew they were lying. They knew they were lying because they’re f—–g lawyers. I’m not saying they’re having sex with lawyers, I mean, well, maybe, but that they’re lawyers so they know what a false statement is. The thing is, they were willingly breaking the law. Why? Because they thought they’d get away with it. Either they’d succeed in helping Trump steal the election and then they could all dance and sing around him in a circle without fear of consequences because the nation had become a fascist state that allows unelected dictators to assume power, or quite simply, they believed nobody would bother going after them because nobody ever bothered going after Trump in the past. White billionaires are a protected class in this nation.
Jenna Ellis, Sidney Powell, and Kenneth Chesebro might all be stupid enough to work for Trump. They each might be lunatics, especially Sidney Powell. But each of them is smart enough to know what they were doing. None of them is dumb enough to have been tricked by Trump. And what kind of plea is that? That Trump outsmarted you? That Donald Trump fooled you into running around the country claiming Trump won when you know he lost. It’s not so much that they’re stupid but that they lack ethics and integrity.
Jenna Ellis isn’t stupid enough to call a press conference and claim she’s going to produce massive evidence proving Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen from him when she didn’t have any evidence. Or at least, she’s not dumb enough to do that without believing she’d get away with it. The audience they were speaking to, MAGAts, have never asked them to provide evidence. A MAGAt only wants to be told what he wants to be told.
The biggest problem for the prosecutors in Georgia is that they have to convince a jury to believe Sidney Powell, Kenneth Chesebro, and Jenna Ellis. I know Trump’s legal team is going to go after them without a hint of irony and state that they can’t be trusted because they all lied for Trump. It’s how House Republicans went after former Trump fixer Michael Cohen when he testified before Congress in 2019, using the fact that he lied for Trump to label him as a liar.
While I’m happy these people will try to help put Trump in prison, keep in mind they’re all goons. It’s not like Trump being a conman with fascist ideals was new news to anyone in 2020. It’s like claiming you didn’t know Trump was a racist when you voted for him a second time. You knew.
And all these Trump lawyers, they knew too. It’s not like it took them years to ketchup to the information. See what I did there? Ketchup. Get it? No? I’m a dad…I get to make those kinds of jokes.
Watch me draw:
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