When I think of March, I think of windy weather, the Ides of March, St. Patrick’s Day, the first day of spring, and most of all, my birthday, March 11th. And when I think of my birthday, I think of birthday parties. And, birthday parties bring up all kinds of emotions. They can be exciting and celebratory. But even wonderful parties can sometimes be marred by haunting imperfections or be tinged with sadness. Here are a couple that stand out to me this year:
My very first birthday party was the year I turned six. I was concerned as I watched my mother roll up the rugs and push furniture out of the way. She seemed to be taking the house apart just as my guests were about to arrive. Mom, what are you doing? I asked. Janey don’t worry! I want to have plenty of room for you and your friends to play games. I thought the living room looked ugly. Remembering this now, I am surprised that at six, I wanted the living room to look nice.
It’s interesting to me that I have a vivid memory, not of the games we played, nor the flavor of my cake. The most memorable part is of my mother quietly scolding me as I greeted a couple of friends at the French door. When I reached out my hands and said to my young friend, what did you bring me? Mom quietly said, Janey, that’s not polite. You don’t ask for a present, you graciously say thank you when someone offers you a gift.
I felt ashamed to be scolded for breaking a social rule I did not yet understand.
Another unforgettable birthday party was March 2010. My sister Anne Marie, I call her Annie, had been in the hospital for over a year. No nursing home would take her. Then through her own efforts, there was a change in policy, and she was released to a Ridgefield nursing home. At the time of my birthday, Annie was back in the hospital. Gary and Andrea, my brother and sister-in-law, invited the family for a dinner party to celebrate my birthday. Andrea, who is a fantastic cook, prepared my favorite meat dish, ham. Holly, the daughter of my deceased brother, Bud, and her mother, Linda, made a gorgeous birthday cake. It was a sheet cake with fondant frosting. The cake was a work of art. They created the torso of a belly dancer with a decorated bra and hip belt. The jewels were colorful pieces of candy. The cake was inspired to celebrate the fact I have been belly dancing on and off for a long time.
Annie wanted so much to be with us. She was unable to be here because she was once again hospitalized. I felt sad because it was such a lovely party, and all the rest of our family was there. I spoke to her at least three times that evening so that she would feel included. Annie died in August 2010 after this birthday party.
This year my birthday was not only pleasant but full of joy. My dear friend, DA, met me the day before my birthday with a bright pink gift bag with matching tissue and a pink envelope. She told me she wanted me to wear the gift the next day––a sparkling crown and a sash to be worn over one shoulder. It said, “Birthday Queen.” The card read, “Some people were born to stand out.”
Every day I go to Nature’s Temptation in Ridgefield for lunch. On my birthday I wore the crown, and Diana, who works there, adjusted the sash. At first, I felt a little self-conscious, however, I soon got over it and enjoyed myself. After I had lunch, a whole group of friends who work there, led by, Alex, entered the Juice Bar. Alex carried a large lit candle on a carrot souffle. They all were singing “Happy Birthday” as they entered the room. Two of them were taking pictures. I was delighted that the pictures were later posted on the Nature’s Temptation’s weekly web site.
My nephew, Ryan and his wife, Susie, invited me to dinner later in the day. Of course, I wore my banner and crown. After dinner, Ryan played some classical guitar pieces. Yes, I felt serenaded. And, to top the whole thing off, we then all drummed for my birthday on Middle Eastern drums called doumbeks. We had a great time. It was a wonderful birthday and there were only joyous feelings on this day.
This is cross-posted from Jane Knox’s blog The Ageless Goddess.
