If I were Judge Sotomayor, I would be concerned about the gun lobby. But I would be much more afraid of the nunchuk lobby. Doesn’t anybody remember what happened to the last Supreme Court nominee who suggested that states have the right to ban ninja weapons?

Of course nobody remembers! When ninjas take you out, they make sure that nobody even remembers you even existed in the first place!

In an ominous sign of things to come, celebrity ninjas have already begun to speak out against Sotomayor:

Ninja Turtle Press Conference

Ninja Turtle Press Conference

(Photo courtesy of Paul Tassi, who recently did a fascinating interview with ninja turtle Michaelangelo.)

If I handled communications for the ninja lobby, I would be sure to point out that the Second Amendment protects “the right of the people to keep and bear arms.” It does not say firearms. Just arms.

Why? Because James Madison was probably a ninja.

Cross-posted at Conventional Folly

David Adesnik, TMV Guest Voice Columnist
Leave a replyComments (1)
  1. BurrDeming July 20, 2009 at 6:44 am

    It was an unusual exchange, and you capture the absurdity.

    I do see a problem with Judge Sotomayor’s nomination that would put Democrats on the spot. But conservative Republicans cannot bring themselves to raise the issue.