THIS JUST IN: If Voters Had to Choose Between Trump and Palin
THIS JUST IN from investigative journalist Andy Borowitz:
Poll: Given Choice Between Palin and Trump, Most Voters Choose Suicide
Survey Spells Trouble for GOP, Pollster Says
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – A new survey of likely voters indicates that in a hypothetical match-up between former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and billionaire Donald Trump, a majority would choose suicide over either candidate.
The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows Mr. Trump drawing 21%, Gov. Palin 18%, and various forms of suicide 61%.
“Throwing yourself in front of a speeding city bus” was the most popular means of suicide at 22%, with “jumping off the roof of a really tall building or bridge” coming in second at 17%.
According to pollster Davis Logsdon, the surging popularity of suicide bodes ill for both Gov. Palin and Mr. Trump as potential presidential candidates in 2012.
“It’s still very early, but even at this stage of the game the prospect of one of those two being nominated shouldn’t be making voters want to kill themselves in these numbers,” Mr. Logsdon said.
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