THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andrew Borowitz:
GORE COULD CAUSE GLOBAL BORING
Hillary Produces Cautionary Documentary About Former Veep
The election of former vice president Al Gore to the White House could result in a disastrous phenomenon called “global boring� in which millions of people around the world would fall asleep in an unprecedented narcoleptic pandemic.
That is the message of a new documentary about the 2000 Democratic Party standard-bearer that has been produced and narrated by Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and is being released in selected cities today.
The documentary, entitled “An Incoherent Truth,� collects moments from some of Mr. Gore’s most mind-numbing speeches to make a persuasive case that a Gore presidency would set off a doomsday scenario of global tedium.
Speaking at the film’s premiere in New York, Sen. Clinton said that while the film “is not for the squeamish,� it is a cautionary tale “that every American should see, if they can stand to sit through it.�
Insisting that global boring is not a made-up phenomenon but one that is based in scientific fact, Sen. Clinton said that a Gore presidency “would unleash a force of boredom equal to a thousand ‘Da Vinci Codes.’�
Read the whole thing.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.