This Just In! Hillary Clinton’s New Documentary
THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andrew Borowitz:
GORE COULD CAUSE GLOBAL BORING
Hillary Produces Cautionary Documentary About Former Veep
The election of former vice president Al Gore to the White House could result in a disastrous phenomenon called â€œglobal boringâ€? in which millions of people around the world would fall asleep in an unprecedented narcoleptic pandemic.
That is the message of a new documentary about the 2000 Democratic Party standard-bearer that has been produced and narrated by Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and is being released in selected cities today.
The documentary, entitled â€œAn Incoherent Truth,â€? collects moments from some of Mr. Goreâ€™s most mind-numbing speeches to make a persuasive case that a Gore presidency would set off a doomsday scenario of global tedium.
Speaking at the filmâ€™s premiere in New York, Sen. Clinton said that while the film â€œis not for the squeamish,â€? it is a cautionary tale â€œthat every American should see, if they can stand to sit through it.â€?
Insisting that global boring is not a made-up phenomenon but one that is based in scientific fact, Sen. Clinton said that a Gore presidency â€œwould unleash a force of boredom equal to a thousand â€˜Da Vinci Codes.â€™â€?
Read the whole thing.