A new breeding program will:

“[I]solate the few remaining specimens of moderate Republicans, mate them in captivity, and then safely release these rare and precious creatures back into the electorate. Within our safe, enclosed habitats, these middle-of-the-road Republican Party members can freely support increased funding for public education and even gay rights without being threatened by the far-right subgenus.”

More here on this promising endeavor.

Shaun Mullen
Leave a replyComments (11)
  1. zephyr February 14, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Not sure there’s enough viable breeding stock left to maintain integrity of such a small herd. Might be time to get those goodbyes in order.

  2. slamfu February 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    This smacks of more govt interference. I say let the free market settle it. Although I hear Newt hires poachers to use powdered RINO horn to increase his virility. He’s probably got a 4th wife on the way, and at his age he needs all the help he can get.

  3. dduck February 14, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    SM, this is a winner, loved it.
    I can’t believe they didn’t freeze dry some Reagan sperm. That would be the the way to win Academy Awards and generate an army of moderates.

    BTW: I suppose this program is being run by Dems, otherwise why would the breeding cage shown in the picture have two guys. Come on Dems can’t you run a program correctly, especially this very important one.

  4. The_Ohioan February 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    dd

    Better make that eye doctor appointment.

    I heard the Rockefeller Foundation was doing the funding for this project.

  5. dduck February 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    O, sorry, I had to enlarge the image, you are correct, that appears to be a female of some sort, I think a IINO, which I think should be pulled out in favor of a suitable Victoria Secret moderate.

  6. The_Ohioan February 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Now, dd. Do you really think even a moderate Republican would be seen anywhere near a Victoria Secret store?

    What is an IINO?

  7. roro80 February 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    dduck — One of those pictured in the cage is a female, but does not appear to be of breeding age. Of course, one of the primary causes of the shrinking population is the lack of fertile females in both the moderate and extreme GOP populations.

  8. STinMN February 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I certainly hope this breeding program has strong security and keeps the breeding population in a well concealed location. Having these few rare species one location could prove too irresistible to some extremist that wants to get a trophy with their assault personal protection weapon.

  9. rudi February 14, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    The problem with Republican breeding stock isn’t in numbers. Like European royalty, the problem is recessive genes and inbreeding.

  10. dduck February 14, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Ohio, Perhaps, Susan Collins, Independent In Name Only.
    Roro, see my sexist remark, above.

  11. PATRICK EDABURN, Assistant Editor February 14, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    A worthy program indeed