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Posted by on May 2, 2009 in Politics | 9 comments

Texas Governor Perry says “Choose Wife!”

In a ground-breaking move Thursday, the Texas Senate passed a bill approving new license plates that read “Choose Wife” — thus allowing Texans to publicly display their concern for high divorce rates in the state.

The bill now moves to the House. If it passes there, concerned Texans will be able to order the metallic bumper stickers plates as soon as this fall. Like all vanity plates, they will cost more than the dry, boring, non-politicized plates, but ten percent of the higher cost will go toward Texans massive unpaid child support payments — a goal we can all agree on.

A related bill supporting this laudable effort also passed the Senate. If it, too, clears the House, Texas divorce court judges will be required to offer men digitally-enhanced aging projections of their girlfriends. (This is a watered down version of the original, which would have required men to face the future unflinchingly. The approved bill leaves men the option of declining.)

Supporters cheered this as the first step toward reducing divorce in the Lone Star State, noting that most men have no idea that 23-year-olds eventually get wrinkles.

A statement released by a spokesperson for Texas Cultural Non-Dividers praised the legislation as “the first step in addressing the real problems facing Texas children”, and thanked both the Governor and non-ideological Texas senators for leaving the Culture Wars outside politics, where they belong.


I’m so grateful Texas is led by non-grandstanding politicians who are willing to check their dogma at the door, and feel no need to feed red meat to a perpetually ravenous base. Because if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that government has no place in the personal choices of Texans.

(h/t to an anonymous Houston Chronicle commenter for this post’s title).

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  • RobertGartner

    Horseshit. Perry should step down along with his extortionist friend Greg Abbott. Fathers are the ‘new niggers’ and this must stop.

  • LOL!!!!

  • lilangilyn

    I am not sure if this article was legit or not. If the Texas legislature sits around discussing such things as choose wife license plates and these ridiculous photos, we are screwed as a state and as a people.

    To assume that men only divorce because they have a fresh new girlfriend is insulting to men. I think the judges will find that they will rarely have to use these photos as the soon to be ex wives have a lot more issues than a few wrinkles!

    I wish the legislature would spend their time over hauling the family court system, making it more fair to all involved, instead of this ridiculous time consuming idiocy.

    • Not legit? Why, how can you say that? Did you read the links?

      • Polimom – you simply *must* report this to Steven Colbert! He’ll want to do an expose on “The Colbert Report” IMMEDIATELY!!!



    • Uh… think “satire”. Then, go and click the clicky links. You’ll find that, yes, we are probably screwed as a state.


  • pueblonative

    I’m guessing this holds out until the first married lesbian couple goes for these. BTW the article you reference is the Choose Life, not the Choose Wife.

  • CStanley

    For me the satire didn’t work for a number of reasons, but I’m surprised at the number of people who seemed to not even note that this wasn’t a straight piece (even with satire tag and commenters pointing already pointing it out.)

    • CStanley — I’m sorry it didn’t work for you, but I’m guessing it was the subject. I loved writing it.

      pueblonative wrote: “BTW the article you reference is the Choose Life, not the Choose Wife”

      No way. Really?


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