Someone doing serious self-evaluation

Someone doing serious self-evaluation

Sylvia Plath
by Stu Pierce

I mean this in the best possible way, but I really hate myself–not in a crazy, suicidal, draw a warm bath and read some Sylvia Plath kind of way.

But, in a healthy way–well, a healthy(ish) way–a way that I think is sorely needed in America–the land of obnoxious self-esteem–the land everything is “awesome” and everyone is “genius”.

“Dude, we should totally go to Taco Bell right now…”

“You’re genius.”

That’s ‘genius’? It kind of looks like you’re just baked.

Everyone can’t be genius. Have you been to Wal-Mart?

You’re probably not awesome. I hate to burst your bubble, but unless you’re John Glenn or Pete Seeger then you’re probably standard, ‘straight from the factory’. No frills. No bells or whistles. Get over it. I did.

Today, ‘awesome’ is just a word used as filler in the music of conversation. It doesn’t mean anything.

At least I’m acutely aware of my shortcomings. I know I’m not ‘awesome’. I’m a dick, basically. I mean, even I get tired of my own company. The little things I can’t help but do are just–in a word–exhausting. I don’t know how people put up with me. I feel like I should just be apologizing all the time.

“I’m sorry that me being at the park at the same time as you is disrupting the picnic you planned for your girlfriend. I’m so sorry…”

I disgust myself. I get upset with myself.

Not as upset as Kevin Bacon’s character in Footloose when he became enraged by the town’s outdated stance on dancing and had an epic “dance off” with himself–an epic scene that was parodied in Andy Samberg’s movie Hotrod.

I’m not that perturbed, but I am pretty put off with myself.

I have my flaws. I know it.

I avoid situations and people that I find uncomfortable–rather than be an “adult” and confront the situation. I’m passive aggressive. I’m neglectful, especially with my family. I try and fail in the same step. I spit when I talk. I ask intrusive questions. I talk ALL the time. I say inappropriate things on a daily basis.

I’m grateful that I still have any friends left in the world.

But I digress…

I think we all need to have healthy and accurate self-images. You need to recognize your limits because we all have them.

Not every girl is going to be Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman and end up with Richard Gere. First of all, that’s just a movie. And second of all, did you hear about that gerbil thing? That’s just…awkward.

But, you should recognize your own shortcomings–the things that annoy everyone else. Because we all have them. Own up to your flaws. Be honest.

Because there can’t be any progress for the human race until we realize just how much we’re all complete asses.

Stu Pierce is a writer living in Searcy, Arkansas. He’s currently in the process of publishing his first book. When he’s not writing, you’ll find him caffeinating himself into a philosophical stupor.

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    Awesome article, Mr Pierce. You’re a genius. Well, not in a sticking your tongue out and coming up with a theory of relativity way… But in a most enjoyable reading kind of way that had me chuckling while nodding agreement.
    Very very well done(ish).

  • JSpencer

    Fred beat me too it but I’ll say it anyway. Awesome post Stu! Of course in the real world we’re all superstars. I mean, we’re all made of star stuff right? I mean to say that, well… some of us are adequate – or manage to do pretty well and are even interesting (at times) but I have to wonder how some of us have even survived this long – or managed to tie shoes for that matter. Ah well… nevermind.

  • sheknows

    LOL..”everyone can’t be genius. Have you bee to Walmart?” Too funny.

    Great article about looking at yourself. Seems we seldom do that until forced by circumstance, friendly criticism or a dish flying at our head.