Pages Menu
Categories Menu

Posted by on Feb 3, 2013 in Arts & Entertainment, At TMV, Breaking News, Miscellaneous, Satire | 11 comments

Silverstein’s Super Bowl Predictions

Super Bowl XLVII will be starting soon. It’s time to make my annual predictions about the event. Here goes:

1. A fading female performer will expose one or more of her breasts before a large Super Bowl TV audience. This will be reported copiously on evening news broadcasts in coming weeks, pushing aside less important topics such as war in the Middle East, economic upheavals, et. al.

2. Much of the commentary during the actual game will focus on the fact that two brothers are the coaches of the teams on the field. Absolutely no one care about this fact. But there has to be something that passes for color coverage and this is this year’s designated soporific.

3. The action on the field will be indistinguishable from the action in hundreds of other games played during this football season. There will be some good plays, some bad ones, maybe one or two truly outstanding ones — if we’re lucky. The one thing we must all hope is that this is a close game and not a runaway, otherwise we will hear a lot more about the two teams’ coaches, who in case you haven’t heard, are bothers.

4. As many others have predicted, the commercials for Super Bowl XLVII will be more entertaining than the game itself. What no one else will point out is that this only highlights how utterly devoid of innovation or imagination is the actual programming on network TV, suggesting that it might be more entertaining if we got rid of this programming altogether and just ran commercials.

5. Finally, it comes time for me to pick a winner of Super Bowl XLVII. Here I’m going out on a limb. I’m picking the Philadelphia Eagles. A long shot? Sure. But if the Eagles do in fact win this bowl game, remember — you read it here first.

(Mike Silverstein’s new novel, The Bellman’s Revenge, about toilet seat-borne venereal disease and excessive parking ticketing, is available on Amazon)

Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2013 The Moderate Voice
  • DORIAN DE WIND, Military Affairs Columnist

    Enjoyed reading this, Michael.

    We need more writing like this to take our minds off all the other supposedly important stuff.

    You may have meant to say “brothers” in “otherwise we will hear a lot more about the two teams’ coaches, who in case you haven’t heard, are bothers.”

    But “bothers” is perfectly fine, too.

    I am afraid, however, that you’re wrong with your prediction of the Eagles winning. It will be the Falcons, for sure. Enjoy the Game 🙂

  • KP

    Great read, thanks.

    Recall, there can be greatness in a Disney movie that moved us emotionally as kids, or the ones we watched as adults with our kids. As well, there can be inspiration and/or entertainment in sport. It’s okay to enjoy cartoons or the NFL (in context). Both can be light or deeply instructive.

    The family (brothers) thing is interesting. Sometimes, a family rises to success in similar ways. Is it because humans respond to 10 years and 10,000 hours (Malcom Gladwell)? Probably — that and a bit of genetics. There is no denying hard work and total focus equate to success; still, how you choose your parents is very important.

  • KP

    Beside genetics and the 10 years and 10,000 hours — I find the “nuturing” aspect of the progression of the San Francisco 49ers quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, incredibly intersting. He is very young, stands 6′ 5″ tall, weighs 230lbs and runs a 4.3 40 yard dash (very very very fast). He is a 4.2 GPA student who took all advanced weighted classes. He is adopted by a white mom and dad. Most can’t figure out his race. In fact, he is of Arab decent.

    Just a little spice to those that like to know factoids 🙂

  • KP

    One last one: in 4th grade, in an essay to his classmates, Colin said his goal was to start for the 49ers. Here her is!

  • dduck

    Go Niners in second half.

  • ordinarysparrow

    Wow… who could of predicted the time warp?… Jacoby Jones runs so fast he breaks the time barrier then jumped in bed and cut the lights out, while the rest of them thought the games was only half over…

  • zephyr

    one thing we must all hope is that this is a close game and not a runaway

    All hope abandon..

  • zephyr

    And yet…

  • dduck

    The no call for interference near the goal line, I think could have changed the outcome.

  • zephyr

    Agreed dd, that was a bad no call.

  • KP

    I believe it changed the outcome. Which means a gre4at deal to many people (emotioanlly — and finacially to the business entities). It will go down in history as an unfortunate footnote.

Twitter Auto Publish Powered By :