February 13, 2017
Note to readers: This is the latest entry in Super Baby DonDon’s diary. The series imagines that President Donald Trump has the emotional make-up of a five-year-old and confides his deepest thoughts—such as they are—to Andrew Feinberg, and to readers, every day. In his private moments, he always thinks of himself as Super Baby DonDon.
Folks, I know great leaders don’t ask help from the little people, but right now Super Baby DonDon is so confused I don’t know what to do! Do you have any ideas?
People want me to fire Mike Flynn for lying and for sucking up to Vlad “The Pecs on Him” Putin.
But if I come out against lying and cuddling with Vlad, what happens to my brand? Would my new brand be hypocrisy? How exactly do I market that?
So, being a logical person with a gigantic brain, I sought foreign policy advice from, who else, Vlad Putin. We talked today and Vlad said keep Flynn, Flynn is great, Flynn is a winner, keep Flynn or else, golden shower, golden shower, golden shower.
Oh no, now Super Baby DonDon is more confused than ever!! Saying “You’re fired” used to be so easy, but this job is hard.
I’m going to go watch TV now and hope someone tells me what to do.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven (https://www.amazon.com/Four-Score-Seven-Andrew-Feinberg/dp/0692664009), a novel that imagines that Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. He also writes an anti-Trump humor page at www.babydondon.com or https://www.facebook.com/MeBabyDonDon.