It’s a natural part of life, yet death can still often leave us feeling confused, shocked, and deeply saddened. We all go through it at some point or another, and everyone handles grief differently — some falling into depression, and others remaining buoyant — but it is possible to get past it, according to research. For…

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  • archangel

    Just to say from another perspective entirely. There is no way to cross-culturally codify grieving let alone for each individual. There is no one size fits all form of grieving. Kubler Ross’s idea of ‘the stages’ should be taken with a large grain of salt. Every person is different. And those without spiritual ‘beliefs or rituals’ can do quite well with coming through grief, and many who might have even ancestral rituals etc, and every day ones, may struggle hard.

    We do know that grief remains sharp throughout life, contrary to what the article proposes. The difference is those sharp times of grief come farther and farther apart for most, and last less long than during the first year[s].

    As a native american and latina, I find over and over that ‘research’ about how we all actually live/ breathe/think/ feel etc, often leaves out broad groups of culturally situated persons. Not that any group is monolithic, for they are not. But there are ways and means that are brought to grieving by many many groups even those mostly assimilated. I would much rather hear from each person and from those with ties to a group, than a study of seemingly generalized populations.

    As a post trauma specialist I’ve learned there are elders in most families who still know the old ways, and if called upon will bring the kinds of comforts and helps that ‘studies’ never study. And I mean, the Irish, the Italianos, the Jewish, the Armenians, the Japanese by region, Buddhists who have different words for what we call ‘soul’ for instance. It is rich and hugely varied. The common factor is sadness. The ways of finding one’s way, coming through, returning to fullest life possible, is highly individualized. And for some who no longer have a village that surges forward to help, this is why compassionate individuals who come byto visit and sit with/walk with, long after the loved one has died, are so valuable, so precious to those who grieve.

    So, just my .02 worth.