This post is political satire.
The Washington Post reports on Donald Trump’s statement on the Trump University case. This is my satirical take on it.
It is unfortunate that my comments have been misconstrued as a categorical attack against people of Mexican heritage — it was just a minor attack, if I wanted to, I could have made it truly huge and categorical. I am doing great with the Mexicans. Some of my best friends are of Mexican and Hispanic descent. The American justice system relies on fair and impartial judges. All judges should be held to that standard. I do not feel that one’s heritage makes them incapable of being impartial, unless they are haters. Based on the rulings that I have received in the Trump University civil case from a judge of Mexican heritage, a Trump hater, I feel justified in questioning whether I am receiving a fair trial.
Over the past few weeks, I have watched as the media has reported one inaccuracy after another concerning the ongoing litigation involving Trump University. There are several important facts the public should know and that the media has failed to report.
Throughout the litigation my attorneys have continually spoken highly of the Judge and have seen no need to file a motion for the judge’s recusal.
The judge has scheduled my case for trial in November, in order to save me from embarrassment during the presidential campaign.
Normally, legal issues in a civil case would be heard in a neutral environment. However, given my unique circumstances as nominee of the Republican Party and the attacks I have launched on Muslims, Latinos, Mexicans, women and others that focus on hate, bigotry, misogyny and prejudice — core issues of my campaign — I have concerns as to my ability to receive a fair trial.
I am fighting hard to build a huge wall to keep rapists and criminals from entering our country, to prepare internment camps to house millions of Mexicans, to bring back torture, dismantle NATO and to make it easier for South Korea, Japan and Saudi Arabia to get nuclear weapons. This is good for all Americans, regardless of their heritage.
Due to what I believe are unfair and mistaken rulings in this case and the Judge’s reported associations with certain professional organizations, I raised questions regarding a judge appointed by a birther President, regarding a judge’s Mexican heritage and his biases. These are all fair questions.
I do not intend to comment on this matter any further until the first sleazy reporter asks me about it — and then watch out.
Finally, I am not a racist. I am not a bigot. I am not a narcissist. I am not a misogynist and I am very, very rich.
With all of the millions of people who have overlooked my biases and outrages, we will win this election!
Donald J. Trump
Donald Trump’s statement can be read here
Cartoon by DonkeyHotey via Flickr
The author is a retired U.S. Air Force officer and a writer.